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oblivionbladetd · 8 days ago

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Lily/Lorch’s video on Media Literacy is a lot to unpack, so I’m just going to start with the most important part —

She honestly believes that having a point is the exact same thing as being objectively correct, and that’s why villains can never have a point and still be villains in her eyes.

Do I even need to tell you how ignorant and dangerous this kind of mindset is?

Please explain to the youngsters in the audience why she’s utterly wrong in this belief.

I could preach ethics all day long, but who's to say mine are the same as yours? Or anybody else's?

If we want objectively correct, then we can just look at Ultron or Thanos. Statistically speaking, we will never know true, lasting peace. Also, statistically speaking, half our population just up and disappeared in an instant. As long as we can pull the inevitable socioeconomic collapse out of a 90-degree nosedive, it's still a net positive. The only problems they had were that for Ultron, it's that the save humanity by killing humanity is not exactly great for humanity. the world indeed probably would be better without us, but i will not be made to apologize for having a sense of self-preservation.... And with Thanos, the sticking point really is that when you are playing with true infinite, there are actually limitless better options than his initial one.

There are indeed a lot of problems if you just throw ethics to the wind and live in a world where the ends justify the means 100% of the time. Indeed, a lot of the greatest tragedies of human history are statistical non-issues, objectively unimportant. If the ends justify the means, then I guess eugenics and mass culling are hunky dory as well. It's logic that has already been used to justify horrible acts all around the globe from times modern to ancient.

If she wasn't just moving the goalposts in a stupid vendetta against a bunch of cheeky goobers, most villains have points. It's just good character writing. Outside of captain planet ass villains, nobody really sees themselves as a villain. There is a point to their cruelty, not always a great one, but a point nonetheless.

Let me tell you about a guy named Xykon for a webcomic called Order of the Stick. One of the protagonists, V, gets a humongous expansion to their spell list in a soul splice and fuck all else, full of bravado after nuking a dragon with a large amount of epic level spells gets it in their head the big bad ain't shit. After a brief bout of figuring out that hitting a spellcaster with far more practical experience and, more importantly, levels is easier said than done along with running a concentration based buff with a con of 6 means your epic super wizard transformation is good for all of three sturdy slaps being kinda ill advised. Proceeds to hit him with the single greatest speech in dnd fiction on how impermanent power is nothing and that whatever power you do have doesn't matter as long as you actually have it, proving it by showing that even the hail Mary of instant invisibility is nothing with little more than a higher than average spacial awareness and enough strength in their fleshless hands to crush a windpipe. Imagine being so outclassed an undead sorcerer that literally has magic imbued in his very bones switches to standard knuckle tossing just to put things in the ballpark of fair...

He has a good point and is very evil. Unapologetically so. If you are willing to let your mind explore and try to see through eyes that aren't yours, you will discover perspectives that will only ever enhance your understanding of the world. Hell, the very fact that there are war crimes is a widespread understanding that the only appreciable difference between the infantry of one country and another is a set of beliefs that might not survive the first time a soldier realizes he was a single inch away from being a corpse, so adding prolonged suffering is just needlessly cruel.

Hell, I'd welcome it as an open challenge to defend any villain as having a point because, again, short of stuff like has eaten bad vibes soup (chase young) or simply being a ancient force of nature. The list of bad guys that just are with zero explanation or justification is not as long as you'd think.

#lily orchard #lily peet #lily orchard is a bad critic #lily orchard is a bad writer

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alexshumini · 2 months ago

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After the After Party - James Hetfield fan fiction (part 1)

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Sex, Drugs & Alcohol

Pairing: 90s!James Hetfield × any gender!reader

When your band was asked to open for Metallica on their tour in 1991, you and your band mates were in pure disbelief. The first words out of anyone's mouth was "Omg we're going big time!" which came from your Dummer and best friend Ayden.

You were quite nervous at the thought of opening for such a big and well-known band. It was a hard expectation to live up to, but nonetheless, you were very excited to finally meet the people who got you into Metal in the first place. You were scheduled to meet the Metallica members just a few days before the tour kicked off as they invited you to rehearse with them.

On the day of rehearsal you were already in a stressful panick. Your other band members were taking their sweet time getting ready and you had been ready since the moment you woke up.

"guys seriously hurry up. They are going to think we are assholes if we are late." You ushered them all along.

"Calm down, we'll make it." Stig your Guitarist protested throwing on jeans and a t-shirt. At last, everyone was ready, and you headed off to rehearsal. The members used to tease you constantly about how your celebrity crush has always been James Hetfield, and today was no different. They were relentless, constantly bringing it up in the car, saying you might pass out just at the sight of him. You tried your best to ignore them, but it was the truth. You did have a bit of an obsession for him.

You arrived at rehearsal and were immediately greeted by Kirk at the door.

"Hey guys, I'm so glad you made it." He said, shaking hands one by one. Touching Kirk's hand was enough to get your heart rate spiking. As Kirk showed you into the studio and brought yous down to the rehearsal room, Stig couldn't help but fan girl over everything.

Kirk brought you straight into the rehearsal room, and as you walked into the doorway, your eyes met with James Hetfield.

"Hello guys," he said with his deep, toned voice. He gave you a slight awkward smile, and you smiled back politely. Without another word, you got straight to rehearsal, Metallica watched your band rehearsal first. James surprisingly was following your every move and even backed you up when you corrected Stig's wrong chord play. This just made you fawn more for him. You weren't even dating, and he was already backing up your every argument.

James's eyes were following you, he smiled at your natural confidence and even clapped at the end of every song. He noticed you blushing when you noticed his eyes on you, this just made him more focused on you. You thought you were delusional, you thought to yourself "I'm way too young and not a groupie. I'm imaging things". But you were far from the truth. James took a quick liking to you and it didn't go unnoticed by everyone else.

Mid rehearsal Lars stopped your performance. "I forgot to say. We are having a sort of party tonight to kick off the tour. You guys are more than welcome to come along. I'll get our manager to send your manager the details. " A party with Metallica, the thought of trying to keep up with their drinking already had you calling for a time out. But like the nice kind person you are, you thanked them for the invitation and couldn't wait to attend, especially if James was going to be keeping his eyes on you all night as well.

Thank you for reading part 1 of this series. Apologies for it being quite short but I just wanted to give you guys a little taster of what is to come. X

#fanfic #jameshetfield #metallica #kirkhammett #lars ulrich #jason newsted #metal #smut #Spotify

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joshjacksons · 3 years ago

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Joshua Jackson interview with Refinery29

Against my better judgement, and at the risk of losing any semblance of journalistic objectivity, I start my conversation with Joshua Jackson by effusively telling him what a dream come true it is to be talking to him. See, like many millennial women who grew up watching the late ‘90s and early 2000s teen drama Dawson’s Creek, Jackson’s Pacey Witter means a lot to me. Pacey is one of the rare fictional teen boys of my youth whose adolescent charisma, romantic appeal, and general boyfriend aptitude hold up all these years later (unlike The O.C’s Seth Cohen or Gossip Girl’s Chuck Bass) and that is due in large part to the wit, vulnerability, and care Jackson brought to the character.

It’s the same intention he’s afforded all of his famous roles — Peter Bishop in Fringe, Cole Lockhart in The Affair, and even as a 14-year-old in his first acting gig as sweet-faced heartthrob Charlie Conway in The Mighty Ducks. Now, Jackson, 43, has matured into a solid supporting actor (with memorable turns in Little Fires Everywhere and When They See Us) and as a leading man who can draw you into a story with just his voice (Jackson’s latest project is narrating the psychological thriller and Canadian Audible original, Oracle, one of the over 12,000 titles available today on Audible.ca’s the Plus Catalogue) or find humanity in the most sinister men (he’s currently playing a sociopath with a god complex in Dr. Death). His magnetic pull is as evident as it was when he was the guy you rooted for in a show named after another guy’s creek. Jackson has never seemed to mind the fact that so many people still bring up Pacey decades later, and that’s part of why as an adult, he’s one of the few childhood crushes I still have on a pedestal. I tell him just a tiny slice of this, and Jackson graciously sits up straighter and promises to bring his A-game to our Zoom exchange. Jackson is in what appears to be an office, flanked by mess, like a true work-from-home Dad. He and his wife, fellow actor Jodie Turner-Smith, welcomed a daughter in the early days of the pandemic in 2020, and he tells me that fatherhood and marriage are the best decisions he has ever made. Jackson and Turner-Smith are a rare Hollywood couple who choose to let us in on their love, but not obnoxiously — just through flirty Instagram comments and cheeky tweets. Their pairing is part of Jackson’s enduring appeal. It’s nice to think that Pacey Witter grew up to be a doting dad and adoring husband, even if his wife’s name is Jodie, not Joey.

Jackson is an animated conversationalist, leaning into the camera to emphasize his points — especially when the topic of diversity comes up. White celebs don’t get asked about racism in Hollywood the way their counterparts of colour do, and when they do, they’re usually hesitant at best, and unequipped at worst, to tackle these conversations. Jackson is neither. He’s open, willing, and eager to discuss systemic inequality in the industry he’s grown up in. It’s the bare minimum a straight white man in Hollywood can do, and Jackson seems to know this. When he ventures briefly into trying to explain to me, a Black woman, the perils of being Black, female, and online, he catches himself and jokes that of course, I don’t need him to tell me the racism that happens in the comment section of his wife’s Instagram. The self-deprecating delivery is one I’m familiar with from watching Jackson onscreen for most of my life, and seeing it in person (virtually) renders me almost unable to form sentences. Jackson’s charm is disarming, but his relaxed Canadian energy is so relatable, I manage to maintain my professionalism long enough to get through our conversation. Refinery29: Your voice has been in my head for a few days because I've been listening to Canadian Audible Original, Oracle. What drew you to this project and especially the medium of audio storytelling?

Joshua Jackson: The book itself is such a page turner. I also love the idea of those old radio plays. It's like a hybrid between the beauty of reading a book on the page where your imagination does all of it. We craft a little bit of the world, but because this is a noir thriller married with this metaphysical world, there's a lot of dark and creepy places that your imagination gets to fill in for yourself.

I'm noticing a trend in some of the roles you've been taking on lately, with this and Dr. Death, these stories are very dark and creepy. But so many people still think of you as Pacey Witter, or as Charlie Conway, the prototypical good guys of our youth. Are you deliberately trying to kill Pacey and Charlie?

JJ: I'm not trying to kill anybody — except on screen [laughs]. It's funny, I didn't really think of these two things as companion pieces, but I won't deny that there may be something subconscious in this anxiety, stress-filled year that we've all just had. That may be what I was trying to work out was some of that stress, because that's the beauty of my job. Instead of therapy, I just get someone to pay me to say somebody else's words. So, yeah, that could be a thing [but] the thought process that went into them both was very different. Even though this is a dark story, [lead character, police psychic] Nate Russo is still the hero. [Dr. Death’s] Christopher Duntsch very much is not at all. I can't pretend to know my own mind well enough to be able to tell you exactly how [these two roles] happened, but it happened.

That might be something that you should work through with an actual therapist. JJ: Exactly. Yeah, maybe real therapy is on the docket for me [laughs].

So I was listening to Oracle and you're doing these various creepy voices — I’m sorry the word “creepy” keeps coming up.

JJ: Are you trying to tell me something? You know what? I wanted to skip straight to the creepy old man phase of my career. So, it sounds like I'm doing a good job.

You're doing amazing, sweetie [laughs]. So, I was thinking you must be really good at bedtime stories with your daughter doing all these voices. Or is she still too young for that?

JJ: No! She's all the way into books. Story time is my favourite part of the day because it gives me the opportunity to have that time with her just one-on-one. Her favorite book right now is a book called Bedtime Bonnet. Every night I bring out three books, and she gets to pick one. The other two shift a little bit, but Bedtime Bonnet is every single night.

I love that. Since you're married to a Black woman, you know a thing or two about bonnets. JJ: Yeah, well I'm getting my bonnet education. And I'm getting my silk sheet education. I'm behind the curve, but I'm figuring it out [laughs].

You said in an interview recently that you are now at the age where the best roles for men are. And I wonder if you can expand on that and whether you think of the fact that the same cannot be said for the majority of women actors in their 40s?

JJ: What's great about the age that I'm at now as a man is that, generally speaking, the characters — even if they're not the central character of this show — are well fleshed out. They're being written from a personal perspective, usually from a writer who has enough lived experience and wants to tell the story of a whole character. Whereas when you're younger — and obviously I was very lucky with some of the characters that I was able to play – you're the son or the boyfriend, or you're a very two-dimensional character. It's gotten better, but still a lot like you're either the precocious child or you're the brooding one. I will say that while I would agree with you to a certain point for women, I think that this is probably the best era to be a not 25-year-old-woman in certainly the entirety of my career. And it is also the best time to be a Black woman inside of the industry. There's still more opportunity for a 40-year-old white man than there is for a 40-year-old white woman, but it is better now than it has ever been. The roles that women are able to inhabit and occupy and the opportunities that are out there have multiplied. If I started my career in playing two-dimensional roles to get the three-dimensional roles, most women started their career in three-dimensional roles and end up at “wife” or “mom.” And that's just not the case anymore. There's just a lot of broadly diverse stories being told that centre women. So you're right, but in the last five years, six years I would say, there has really been a pretty significant shift.

And I think that shift is happening because who's behind the camera is also changing. JJ: Right? Who holds the purse strings. That's big. Who gets to green light the show to begin with? You have to have a variety of different faces inside of that room. And then, who's behind the camera. What is the actual perspective that we're telling the story from? The male gaze thing is very real. Dr. Death had three female directors. The central character of Dr. Death is an outrageously toxic male figure. Who knows more about toxic male BS than women? Particularly women who are in a predominantly male work environment. So these directors had a very specific take and came at it with a clarity that potentially a man wouldn't see, because we have blind spots about ourselves. We're in a space where there's a recognition that we've told a very narrow band of what's available in stories. There's so many stories to be told and it's okay for us to broaden out from another white cop.

I hope that momentum continues. Okay, I have to tell you something: I’m a little obsessed with your wife, Jodie Turner-Smith. JJ: Me too. As you should be! I love how loudly and publicly you both love on each other. But I need you to set the scene for me. When you are leaving flirty Instagram comments, and she's tweeting thirsty things about you, are you in the same room? Do you know that the other one is tweeting? What's happening?

JJ: We're rarely in the same room [writing] the thirsty comments because that usually just gets said to each other. But, look, if either of us misses a comment, you better believe at night, there's a, "Hey, did you see what I wrote?" One, she's very easy to love out loud and two, she's phenomenal. And I have to say, the love and support that is coming my direction has been a revelation in my life. I've said this often, and it just is the truth: If you ever needed to test whether or not you had chosen the right partner in life, just have a baby at the beginning of a pandemic and then spend a year and a half together. And then you know. And then you absolutely know. I didn't get married until fairly late in the game. I didn't have a baby till very late in the game and they're the two best choices I've ever made in my life.

I'm just going to embarrass you now by reading one of Jodie's thirsty comments to you. She tweeted, “Objectifying my husband on the internet is my kink. I thought you guys knew this by now,” with a gif that said "No shame." JJ: [laughs] That sounds about right.

She's not the only one though. There's this whole thirst for Joshua Jackson corner of the internet. And it feels like there's been a bit of a heartthrob resurgence for you now at your big age. How do you feel about that?

JJ: I hadn't really put too much thought into it, but I am happy that my wife is thirsty for me. What about the rest of us? JJ: That's great for y'all, but it's most important that my wife is thirsty for me. Good answer. You're good at this husband thing. You recently revealed that Jodie proposed to you. Then it became this big story, and people were so surprised by it. How did you feel about the response? JJ: Thank you for giving me the opportunity to give context to this story. So I accidentally threw my wife under the bus because that story was told quickly and it didn't give the full context and holy Jesus, the internet is racist and misogynist. So yes, we were in Nicaragua on a beautiful moonlit night, it could not possibly have been more romantic. And yes, my wife did propose to me and yes, I did say yes, but what I didn't say in that interview was there was a caveat, which is that I'm still old school enough that I said, "This is a yes, but you have to give me the opportunity [to do it too]." She has a biological father and a stepdad, who's the man who raised her. [I said], ‘You have to give me the opportunity to ask both of those men for your hand in marriage.’ And then, ‘I would like the opportunity to re-propose those to you and do it the old fashioned way down on bended knee.’ So, that's actually how the story ended up.

So, there were two proposals. I do feel like that is important context. JJ: Yes, two proposals. And also for anybody who is freaked out by a woman claiming her own space, shut the fuck up. Good God, you cannot believe the things people were leaving my wife on Instagram. She did it. I said ‘yes.’ We're happy. That's it. That's all you need to know. That has been a real education for me as a white man, truly. The way people get in her comments and the ignorance and ugliness that comes her way is truly shocking. And it has been a necessary, but an unpleasant education in just the way people relate to Black bodies in general, but Black female bodies in specific. It is not okay. We have a long way to go. Jodie is such an inspiration because it seems like she handles it in stride. She handles it all with humour and with grace. JJ: She does. And look, I think it's like a golden cage, the concept of the strong Black woman. I would wish for my wife that she would not have to rise above with such amazing strength and grace, above the ugliness that people throw at her on a day to day. I am impressed with her that she does it, but I would wish that that would not be the armour that she has to put on every morning to just navigate being alive. That's a word. That's a word, Joshua Jackson.

The 13-year-old in me needs to ask this. We are in the era of reboots. If they touched Dawson's Creek — which is a masterpiece that should not be touched — but if they did, what would you want it to look like? JJ: I think it should look a lot like it looked the first time. To me, what was great about that story was it was set in a not cool place. It wasn't New York, it wasn't LA, it wasn't London. It wasn't like these were kids who were on the cutting edge of culture, but they were kids just dealing with each other and they were also very smart and capable of expressing themselves. It's something that I loved at that age performing it. And I think that is the reason it has lived on. We have these very reductive ideas of what you're capable of at 16, 17, 18. And my experience of myself at that point was not as a two-dimensional jock or nerd or pretty girl. You are living potentially an even more full life at that point because everything's just so heightened. [Dawson’s Creek] never talked down to the people that it was portraying. That's one of the things that I loved about it as a book nerd growing up. The vocabulary of Dawson's Creek was always above my level and that was refreshing. To go back to the “diversity” conversation, you can't really make a show with six white leads anymore and that’s a good thing. But I also don't know how I feel about taking a thing, rebooting it, and just throwing Black characters in there.

JJ: I hear that. And there's certain contexts in which it doesn't work unless you're making it a thing about race, right? If you watch Bridgerton, obviously you're living inside of a fantasy world, and so you're bringing Black characters into this traditionally white space and what would historically be a white space. And now you are able to have a conversation about myth-making and inclusion and who gets to say what and who gets to act how. So that's interesting, but I don’t think you’re just throwing in a Black character if you changed Joey to a Black woman [or] Pacey to a Black man. What you're doing is you're enriching the character. Let's say one of those characters is white and one of those characters is Black. Now, there's a whole rich conversation to be had between these two kids, the political times that we live in, the cultural flow that is going through all of us right now. I think that makes a better story. All these conversations around comic books in particular like, "Well, that's a white character." It's like, Man, shut up. What are you talking about? It is a comic book character! Joey and Pacey don't have to be white. Dawson and Jen don't have to be white. And this is what we were talking about a little bit earlier. We get better the broader our perspective is, both as humans, but also in the entertainment industry. So if you went back to a story like [Dawson’s Creek], what was important in that show was class not race, which I think is true for a lot of small Northeastern towns. They are very white. But if you brought race into that as well, you don't diminish the amount of the stories that you can tell. You enrich the tapestry of that show. So I think that would be a great idea.

Make Pacey Witter a Black man in 2021 is what I just heard from you. JJ: Hashtag ‘Make Pacey Witter A Black Man’. There we go!

#joshua jackson #refinery29 #interviews #jodie turner smith #dawson's creek

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thestylesindependent · 4 years ago

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The following is an excerpt from A Field Guide to Internet Boyfriends: Meme-Worthy Celebrity Crushes From A to Z (Running Press) by Esther Zuckerman, senior entertainment writer at Thrillist. Opinions expressed are those of the author.

It’s virtually impossible to dig into the history of celebrity crushes without discussing boy bands. Stemming back to the days of the Beatles, boy bands have been crush incubators, known as much for their music as for their ability to pose on posters that hang on teenage bedroom walls. While the modern idea of boy bands existed before the ’90s, the decade turned boy bands into an industry with the likes of Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC eliciting mobs of screaming fans. For the first decade of the 2000s—after the leftovers from the ’90s faded from relevance—it seemed like the era of the boy band was over. And then a couple of lads from England—and one from Ireland—came along.

One Direction was not born organically. Each member of the fivesome auditioned for The X Factor as a solo act. Then Simon Cowell had a genius idea: Individually, they would probably generate some amount of buzz. Together, they would be unstoppable. Cowell was right. One Direction mania jumped across the pond and initiated a new era of boy band worship. This group was different from its ’90s predecessors. They were shaggy and didn’t really dance. But their fans were also different. These were kids raised by the internet, and they expressed their love for Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, and Niall Horan as such. Stanning for One Direction involved slash fiction and Tumblr.

But when the time came, One Direction faced an age-old boy band question: What happens when they break up? Who becomes famous? For years, the pinnacle of post–boy band success had always been Justin Timberlake, crying a river all over the radio. (He also found controversy along the way. No, we will never forgive him for throwing Janet Jackson under the bus at the Super Bowl.) But who becomes the Joey Fatone? One thing was always certain: Harry Styles was a goddamn star. Styles had always been the likeliest candidate for post-One D fame. He was the most rambunctious of the group, as at home palling around on talk shows as he was crooning on the stage.

Still, no one could have predicted what he was about to unleash. Styles, on his own, somehow surpassed the prom¬ise of his early career. The individual that emerged was like the love child of David Bowie and Stevie Nicks, all flowing blouses, wide-legged pants, and funky vibes. He occupies a space in between the masculine and the feminine and is an ally without being obnoxious about it.

When he left the womb of One Direction, his goal was to write his own material. The sound that emerged was not Timberlake’s white boy soul or the radio-ready pop of his bandmate Zayn Malik. Instead, it was a throwback hybrid of folk rock and pop—not a complete copy of an era that was not his own, but more indebted to his predecessors than his contemporaries.

The narrative around Harry Styles is that he is a Very Good Boy. It starts with his devotion to his mother, with whom he is reportedly very close. More proof of his sweet¬heart status can be found in the story about how he ended up being a polite houseguest to his friend The Late Late Show with James Corden producer Ben Winston for twenty months. As his star was rising in One Direction, he was crashing with an Orthodox Jewish family. “That period of time, he was living with us in the most mundane suburban situation,” Winston once explained. “No one ever found out, really. Even when we went out for a meal, it’s such a sweet family neighborhood, no one dreamed it was actually him. But he made our house a home. And when he moved out, we were gutted.”

It’s anecdotes like this—revealed in the singer’s first Rolling Stone cover story, written by none other than Almost Famous director Cameron Crowe—that frame Styles as a superstar who is relatively down to earth, a nice person who cares about being good to those around him. I mean, one of the songs on his recent album Fine Line is titled “Treat People with Kindness.” Styles once said: “There are others. People who are successful, and still nice. It’s when you meet the people who are successful and aren’t nice, you think: What’s yer excuse? Cos I’ve met the other sort.”

Styles gives off the impression that if you were to hang out with him you’d probably have a pretty pleasant and slightly wild time. Profiles of Styles tend to include stories about parties on beaches where nudity or clothes swapping is involved. He’s spoken about how doing mushrooms influenced his latest record, Fine Line, and once led him to bite off the tip of his tongue. But even though that detail sounds like it might belong in an outtake from a seedier history of rock ’n’ roll—think: Mötley Crüe—it’s bizarrely wholesome coming from Styles, who has gone out of his way to promote a message of inclusion.

Though he’s publicly only been linked to women, he’s never exactly declared himself straight, either, and has alluded to bisexuality in his lyrics. One time, he declared, “We’re all a little bit gay, aren’t we?” Regardless of how he himself identifies, he’s made it a mission to promote a safe-for-all environment at his shows. On one tour stop, he took note of a girl in the crowd’s sign which declared she was going to come out to her parents because of him. He asked her mom’s name, quieted the room, and shouted, “Tina, she’s gay,” triumphantly. It’s an especially welcome development for someone whose early celebrity was defined by slash fiction with which some of his bandmates were openly uncomfortable.

His style started to evolve with his own fluidity as well. He took to wearing ruffles and low-cut shirts with wide-legged trousers. The effect was circus ringmaster mixed with ’70s Laurel Canyon chic. There’s a cheekiness to the look, evidenced by photo shoots in which he affects like he just told a dirty joke. He has said he dresses this way not because he’s trying to allude to anything, just because he thinks it looks cool. And, the thing is, it does.

Harry Styles may have been made in the confines of the boy band universe, but when he struck out on his own, his message became freedom. He makes the music he wants, wears the clothes he wants, and encourages everyone around him to love who they want—even if that’s just Harry Styles.

#harry styles #a field guide to internet boyfriends #nov2020 #billboard

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josiebelladonna · 3 years ago

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since not everyone visits my actual blog, here— (brought to you by joey and alex)

~hi, and welcome to my hub in cyberspace

~predominantly a fusion of rock and art blog: i like heavy metal, 70s rock, grunge, pop punk, and 90s and 2000s hip hop, but i have a soft spot for classical music and jazz. favorite bands are soundgarden, the beatles, hole, alice in chains, nine inch nails, green day, anthrax, testament, metallica, and foo fighters: all those bands are like my best friends.

~i am an artist: my specialty is cartoons, but i’m an outsider in the cartoon world because my style is just so… odd. i’ve made three comics: life in the paddock, the r.c. cola club, and amped and wired. i appreciate different types of art but i admit i’m rather picky.

~i’m also a writer, and a prolific one to boot. i actually wrote original fiction for a long time, but i also like fanfic (115 works on my ao3 since i joined in february 2019 and counting!). i like to write rpf mainly because i’m interested in the human condition and it’s just fun to me. i’m not your typical rpf writer, either: i like to write actual stories.

~huge science nerd. it was my thing for years growing up and i still love it: i’m into mainly the earth sciences as well as chemistry and biology.

~bit of a Literature nerd, too. that said, i couldn’t tell you what’s on the bestseller list 🤷🏻‍♀️

~i like learning languages. i speak nine so far: english, french, (j’ai parlais le francais depuis 2007, c’est incroyable!), german, italian, spanish, latin, danish, japanese, and russian—the latter two i only know how to write, and they + german, italian, and spanish i picked up by reading books in those languages. the hardest one is probably english, though—speaking as a native english speaker, too. at least russian is honest, like they make it no secret that everyone has 50 nicknames and they all mean the same thing while being completely different. and japanese just wants you to pay attention.

~there’s so much that interests me to bring it to hobby form, like photography and gardening.

~i love horror, the whole goth subculture, steampunk, anything that has to do with the ocean, pinup, and also psychedelia. no, it’s not at all weird to me.

~love formula one—it was the first fandom i got fully involved in, but i’m just gonna tell you right now: i haven’t watched a race since 2018, so i don’t know like half the grid (some people, i didn’t even know were still racing like lewis hamilton and sebastian vettel).

~i will post about my crushes, just going to warn you right now. i’m a lot more tender with them than most people here on tumblr, like i’m a lot nicer about it. but it will happen, though.

~that said, i do get sexual and sensual. yes, even in the wake of the nsfw ban (which did nothing anyways), i still find my way. it’s mainly to heal myself because i grew up in an environment where it wasn’t really allowed and a conservative area.

~i do get my hands dirty from time to time (see all my posts about daveighmustaine and her cronies and what she did to me: cut me off and then i found out she plagiarized from me and then lied about it. she also tries to make it sound like i did something bad by speaking out). if i was done wrong, you will know. and you don’t get to where you are in life without being shocking in some way. that’s just… that’s just how it is.

~i’m a fiery sporty independent rebellious girl and i’ve had problems, but i’m really just a big kid. i’ve never lost touch with my inner child and i wish more people—and more people younger than me, too—would do the same.

#text #think this should help #introducing myself #i guess? idk

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kingstylesdaily · 4 years ago

Text

'A Field Guide to Internet Boyfriends': Read the Harry Styles Excerpt

source: Billboard.com

#kingstylesdaily #Harry Styles #hs: news #hs: billboard #november 2020

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aawesomepenguin · 5 years ago

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RATING EVERY SONIC FROM THE SONIC MULTIVERSE

How much of a good boy they are? All of this in this thread.

Disclaimer: Of course, this is my opinion. You might feel different. You’re welcome to disagree!

(MAIN UNIVERSE - Universe 1991)

The Sonic from the games, a true good boy. He does things on his way, his own way, he aims to do what he believes is right, hates injustice. He cherishes his freedom above everything.

He loves to explore the world, always running around. Doesn’t have a house.

Doesn’t like to see tears. He also likes to crack some jokes to have fun with his friends. Is a hedgehog of action, usually doesn’t think twice before taking action.

Also has not shown much interest in doing romance.

10/10, this is my favorite Sonic

(UNIVERSE 1991A - 1991 Promotional Manga)

This Sonic is the vocalist of his world’s most famous band, and also has cool sharp fangs. A lot of human girls have a crush on him.There are certain rumors circulating around that he might be dating a human girl named Madonna... could it be true?

He is also a good boy, takes action when he sees others in danger, and is also determined to fight against injustice.

9/10

(UNIVERSE 1991B - American Sonic)

Originally brown, Sonic was a great friend of Dr. Ovi Kintobor, a good human scientist. Kintobor studied the Chaos Emeralds with the intention to get Mobius rid of all evil.

Kintobor gives Sonic cool new red sneakers as a gift, and after getting involved in an accident on one of Doctor’s inventions, Sonic turns blue. Eventually Sonic and Kintobor become enemies after the Doctor trips and breaks the machine that stored the Chaos Emeralds, becoming Robotnik.

A good boy, a dude with atitude, also way past cool, and full of 90s charm.

9/10

(UNIVERSE 1992 - Sonic the Hedgehog Manga)

Nicky is a shy boy, he has a younger sister, his father is a pilot, and his mom is a housewife. Nicky is a nerd dedicated to math and all kind of things related to it. He’s very coward and shy, and has a huge crush on Amy Rose.

But, when there’s danger on the horizon, Nicky’s second personality shows up! It’s Sonic, a way more brave dude, and with no reason to be shy! Sonic always fights against the tirany of the evil Dr. Eggman! After his duty of saving people is done, he turns back into Nicky.

Nicky does not have memories of what he did as Sonic, but Sonic retains the memories of what he does as Nicky. Nicky is a VERY good boy, a nerd, awkward and shy, I love him a lot 10/10

(UNIVERSE 1993 - ARCHIE’S SONIC/PRE-SGW) This Sonic is also a good boy. But, differently from the Sonic from the 1991 Universe, this Sonic is more “domestic”.

He has a place where he lives regularly, being it New Mobotropolis. He also has a father, mother, uncle and even a pet dog. This Sonic also does have some interest in dating/romance, having relationships with some girls in the past. But his main love is Sally, someone who he knows since he was a child. Currently dating Sally Acorn. But even with all of those differences, he still has a big sense of justice, always fighting agains Dr. Robotnik’s tirany and also Dr. Eggman’s. Just like some other Sonics, he sometimes allows his emotions to take over, which sometimes makes him do some unfortunate choices, but he eventually sees how he messed up and tries to do his best to fix things. This Sonic also has a certain ego, but he grows and learns as a person more and more as time passes. 9/10, a good boy

(UNIVERSE 1993B - SONIC THE COMIC)

This Sonic at first can see to be a little hard to approach. He has an even bigger ego than the other Sonics, and can say some things that can hurt his friend’s feelings.

But inside he is extremly unsure about himself, and tries to play “tough” in front of others to hide it. He also has shown some difficulty in reading other people’s emotions, which has put him in some complicated situations in the past.

He’s been trying to improve and be more friendly and approachable with others after being yelled at by Tails and Amy.

He has the same origins as American Sonic, being born brown and a friend of Kintobor. This Sonic was wrongly acused of crimes through an out of context video that was shown for all of Mobius to see. He’s been trying to regain people’s trust and show how much he has improved since.

His Super Sonic is an evil entity that has intentions of hurting all of those that Sonic cares about.

He is trying his best, 8/10

(UNIVERSE 1993C - AOSTH)

This Sonic is also a good boy. He’s an excelent older brother for Tails, that in this universe is only 4 and a half years old. Sonic always tries to be an exemplary figure for Tails.

He has atitude, likes to play and mess around, and lives running around Mobius. Just like Main Sonic, he also doesn’t have a house. He lives fighting all injustice wherever he goes through.

But, he can be a little bit of a womanizer, always getting himself a little carried away with the girls he crosses path with in his adventures. A cool dude, 9/10

(UNIVERSE 1993D - Sonic SatAM)

Blue streak. Speeds by, Sonic the Hedgehog.

He’s a cool dude to talk and hang out with, he’s very chill. He can be a little bit of an airhead and is not very bright-- but in compensation he has a heart of gold, caring a lot about his friends and family.

He also fights to have his Uncle Chuck back. Just like Archie Sonic, he also has a home. In this case being Knothole. But, now with Robotnik defeated, it’s maybe time to bring Mobotropolis back to its’ glory days.

He also has a big ego, and can be a little bit full of himself. But Sally keeps this side of him in check.

He dates Sally, that acts as Sonic’s conscience a lot of times.

A good boy, look out, when he storms through. He’s the fastest thing alive. 9/10.

(UNIVERSE 1994 - SONIC ADVENTURES)

This Sonic, just like Game Sonic, is full of attitude, brave, and fights against all kinds of evil he finds in his way.

He also becomes friend with an Echidna Lady. He has a thing going on with Amy Rose. He also has a cool mohawk.

8/10

(UNIVERSE 1996 - SONIC THE HEDGEHOG: THE MOVIE OVA)

This Sonic at first can seem a little bit arrogant, but inside he hides a huge heart full of compassion. He lives on a plane that crashed on South Island a long time ago, possibly the coolest house any Sonic has ever had.

Tails is his best friend, and lives together with him. Both usually either relax on the beach or go on adventures to fight against Dr. Eggman.

A very carefree Sonic, that takes action, and very rebellious.

10/10, an absolute good boy

(UNIVERSE 1997 - SONIC: MAN OF THE YEAR)

A Sonic that clearly fights against Eggman’s evil schemes for a long time. Was chosen as the Man of the year, even though he’s clearly a hedgehog.

Eggman ruins his image when disguises as him. I hope he got it back together, since we never got a continuation to this.

Just looking at him, you can tell he’s full of charm and has that Animaniacs flair in his animation, just from this alone I give him a 9/10

(UNIVERSE 1996B - SONIC THE HEDGEHOG: WONDERS OF THE WORLD)

This Sonic, unlike others, is a fictional character even in his own universe. He ends up going to the real world through an invention done by Josh’s dad. Josh is a real world kid that becomes Sonic’s friend.

This Sonic is a good boy, he believes that the powers of the Chaos Emeralds shouldn’t be used so carelessy, and helps Josh fights against his insecurities, while at the same time he saves his world from the evil Dr. Robotnik, that also ran away from the videogame world.

7/10

(UNIVERSE 1999 - SONIC UNDERGROUND)

He swore his mother will be found. He was raised by Uncle Chuck. He also wants to save Mobotropolis. He’s also a prince, being the son of Mobotropolis’ original Queen, Aleena.

He has two siblings, Manic and Sonia, and while they ocasionally fight between themselves, they care a lot about each other.

He also plays musical instruments, he can invoke a guitar through his necklace. Playing music somehow solves his problems.

7.5/10, a good boy

(UNIVERSE 2003 - SONIC X)

One of my favorite Sonics. This Sonic is more calm and reserved. Loves to take naps. He is usually more reserved about his emotions, and hates to show emotional weaknesses in front of others.

He likes to read, hates injustice, and likes to pass most of his time alone. But he is shown sometimes to have a romantic interest in Amy Rose.

Extremely helpful, always tries to do his best to make his friends happy. Ditches a meeting with the president to make his friend happy.

An EXTREMELY good boy, 10/10 for him

(UNIVERSE 2003B - SONIC: DASH & SPIN)

This Sonic is probably one of the zaniest Sonics there is, he’s pretty up there with AoStH Sonic. He fights against Eggman’s evil plots, that in this universe can go from stealing a bank to using Sonic’s flu to cover the world with his snot (I’m serious).

He also can count with his friends for help, is full of attitude, nothing will stop him. He likes snowboarding.

7/10.

(UNIVERSE 2013 - ARCHIE SONIC POST-SGW)

This Sonic resembles Game Sonic in a lot of ways, but he is also part of the Freedom Fighters. But he also likes to have his own adventures across his world.

This Sonic, diferent from his other Archie version, isn’t much interested in dating.

He cares a lot about his friends, but he don’t want them to worry a lot about him, usually hiding any signs of weakness.

In general, a good boy, and an excelent friend you can trust.

10/10

(UNIVERSE 2014 - SONIC BOOM)

This Sonic, like Archie’s Pre-SGW Sonic, is also very domestic. He has a house, lives in a calm island, and just likes to have fun with his friends, specially Knuckles and Tails.

He has a huge crush on Amy Rose, and there are a lot of signs pointing that they are boyfriend and girlfriend.

He likes to constantly foil Eggman’s schemes, saving the Bygone Island a LOT of times.

He can lose his patience sometimes due to dumb stuff said or done by his friends or townsfolk; or also with the surreal situations he gets involved.

9/10

(UNIVERSE 2011 - CLASSIC SONIC’S DIMENSION)

After the events of Sonic Generations, the timeline has split in two, thanks to alterations done to the past. Because of this, we’re having brand new adventures with Classic Sonic.

He’s also a good boy, fights against all kind of evil he faces against, and cares a lot about his friends. Doesn’t talk much, prefering to keep quiet during most of his adventures. 10/10, a cute mute wholesome boy

(UNIVERSE 2018 - IDW'S SONIC THE HEDGEHOG)

Passing in an universe after the events of Sonic Forces, IDW’s Sonic is, in a lot of ways, the Sonic from the games.

He has no fixed place to live in, always running around, making this his own way. Is constantly fighting against Dr. Eggman.

He usually believes that everyone can get redeemed or improve. This sometimes can come back to bite him in the ass, though.

A good boy, 9/10. Give him some rest, let him sleep

(UNIVERSE 2020 - THE SONIC MOVIE)

This Sonic found himself on Earth after running away from his home planet. He becomes best friends with the Sheriff of the city of Green Hills. He ends up being adopted by him. Tom is now his dad.

He is super hyperactive, full of energy and can get easily distracted. He is a Sonic that doesn’t have much of a notion on how big the world can be. Some times can feel very lonely. Unlike some other Sonics, he seeks affection and interaction with others, doesn’t like being alone.

An absolute good boy, I LOVE HIM A LOT, 10/10

(UNIVERSE ZERO - ZONIC THE ZONE COP)

Zonic is responsible for patroling the Sonic Multiverse, checking if everything is in order. He takes his profession very seriously.

Works for Zobotnik, as much as he believes that Zobotnik shouldn’t be the one protecting the Multiverse prison.

This Sonic is a lot more serious and mature than the others, but he has shown to have a sense of humor to the Sonic from the 1993 Universe.

8/10. This Sonic isn’t a good boy though, he is a good man.

(ALTERNATE 1993 UNIVERSE - SCOURGE THE HEDGEHOG)

Coming from a mirror dimension from the 1993 Universe, Scourge was born in an extremly peaceful Moebius. His father was a politician loved by all. Scourge felt neglected by him, deciding to become a rebellious punk to tease and provoke his father.

He forms the Supression Squad with Anti-Sally, Anti-Tails, Anti-Rotor and Anti-Antoine. They decide to commit acts of vandalism and robbery all across Moebius.

Scourge also antagonizes Dr. Kintobor, a benevolent scientist that tries to bring the best for the Planet’s citizens.

Eventually he becomes the King of Moebius, but Sonic managed do defeat him. He plans to have his revenge on Sonic. This one is a bad boy, he’s an asshole Sonic. I kinda like him. 8/10.

(UNIVERSE 1993E - CYBORG SONIC)

In this universe, Robotnik manages to capture the Freedom Fighters, but something goes awry during the roboticization process, and as a result, Sonic and the others ended up as cyborgs.

A lot more stronger than they originally were, the Freedom Fighters decide to end with Robotnik once for all. But, Robotnik roboticizes himself as a last ditch resort, becoming the mighty Robo-Robotnik.

6.5/10, he mostly exists to make The Terminator References

(UNIVERSE 1993F - SONIC BATMAN)

He is the night. He is also the speed.

8/10.

(UNIVERSE 616 - SONIC WOLVERINE)

An angry Canadian Sonic with claws.

8/10.

(UNIVERSE 697 - FREEDOM FIGHTERS OF THE GALAXY) This Sonic spent a while in space after some circunstances. Thanks to Einsten’s Law of Relativity, when he returns to Mobius, 2000 years have gone by. This Sonic allies himself with the descendants of the Freedom Dighters, and tries to stop Silver Snively and Robotniklactus’ evil schemes.

He’s kinda lame. A 5/10.

(UNIVERSE 1993FT - Light Mobius)

This Sonic accomplished defeating Robotnik, and with Mobius finally in peace, he married Princess Sally. He grew up, became an adult and had kids.

But he didn’t count with the fact that Robotnik had a Plan B-- the scientist sent his inteligence to a space ship, and from space he sent nukes to Mobius-- killing this version of Sonic in the process. This Robotnik would eventually go to universe 1993 and adopt the name of Eggman.

F to pay respects for this Sonic. F/10.

(UNIVERSE 1993FT2 - MOBIUS X YEARS LATER)

This Sonic went through a lot. After having to rewrite his own timeline to save the universe, he had to win back his friends’ friendship and the love of his life, Sally.He eventually marries Sally, has two kids, and lives happily. Can you believe this Sonic is almost 50 years old? He’s 47 years old!8/10, a good dad

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maybecoolwords · 5 years ago

Text

A Little Tension..

Pairing: Michael B Jordan x Actress!reader

Word count: 715

Summary: Y/N admits her not so secret crush ... On live TV.

A/N: Hey everyone, I just wanted to say that after having read soooooo many fictions for the past two years, I decided to finally give it a try and start writing. It’s on my new year’s resolution list, and I finally feel motivated enough to write and confident enough to post it. This is my first time writing fan fiction that’s why this fic is pretty short and to be honest it’s not really my best work, and hopefully soon enough I will get better and better. I hope you guys enjoy it, and I am open for requests if you have some. BTW GIF IS NOT MINE.

PART 2

“Ladies and gentlemen, our next guest for this evening has been for the past five years the youngest avenger of Marvel’s, she won 2019’s best supporting actress for her role in “Little Woman” and has been inspiring many of us for as long as I personally can remember. Please join me in welcoming: Y/N L/N.”

At the mention of your name, the whole live audience stood up and went crazy cheering up for you. In your long sequin beige strapless dress, you marched elegantly to the stage, never letting go of your beautifully bright smile.

The spotlight was mainly on you. That did not really make you much nervous, a special set of dark brown eyes did. As hard as you tried to keep your attention on the crowd you were greeting, you simply couldn’t. He was just that attractive. A grey and black long sleeve shirt, a flashing white smile and his left arm extended to help you climb the three small steps leading to the stage.

Such a gentleman. You thought as you caught his hand.

A gentle kiss to the cheek from him and you were already swooned. You didn’t make it so obvious though. You decided the classier you were the better? Well, you just didn’t want to act like how a twelve-year old would when they meet their celebrity crush, it’s frankly not so professional.

It took the host’s warm hug to get you out of your thoughts about the very hot guy next to you, which luckily worked; otherwise you would be staring at his smile forever.

Michael was no better, he felt his heart go crazy the second you walked out in those must be expensive heels. His attention was directed solemnly on you ever since. He didn’t seem to pay much attention to whatever the host was saying after all of you sat down. And quite frankly, his smile didn’t disappear for one second.

After a set of introducing questions, Michael seemed to snap of all thoughts about you. One question in particular caught his attention...

“Y/N, you have been in Marvel movies since 2015 in Captain America: Civil War, but are you really a fan of the movies?” asked the host.

“Yes, yes I am.” you started, “As a 90′s kid, I’m proud to say that I grew up watching them, ever since the very first Iron Man until Avengers: Endgame and Spider-Man: Far From Home.” You added.

“And is there one movie in particular you like more than the others?” The host asked again.

To be honest, you had a special movie in mind but you were contemplating whether you should say it or not? But before you could really think about it, you just blurted out:

“Captain America: The Winter Soldier.”

With raised eyebrows, Michael looked at the crowd in a mock shock expression with his left arm on his chest to show how betrayed he felt. The live audience started to boo you in a funny-ish way after seeing Michael’s reaction to your unthinkingly hurtful words. You couldn’t help but laugh at his childlike matter.

In a desperate attempt to save yourself from the small storm you found yourself in, you quickly said: “I’m sorry, but hey, I loved Black Panther ... I really did-”

“Just not as much as The Winter Soldier.” Michael cut your sentence before you could finish. This made the audience laugh a little.

“Hey, I watched Black Panther for at least a hundred times.” You replied holding your hands in a defensive way, eyes looking straight to Michael’s in a show of challenge and pure confidence.

“I think we all know the answer to this question, but-” Started the host in attempt to break the very strong tension you two built. “What made you watch it so many times?”

You smirked devilishly at the crowd and then at Michael, and with a surprisingly strong surge of confidence, you answered looking straight to Michael’s eyes: “Let’s just say that somebody looked extremely delicious in that particular movie.”

Some members of the crowd started to wolf whistle at your antics, and without breaking your gaze, a smirk pulls at his lips as Michael answers: “For what it’s worth, I did watch “Little Woman” just to see you.”

#erik stevens x reader #michael b jordan x reader #fluff #black!reader #plus size!reader #erik killmonger x reader #erik killmonger #michael b jordan #actress!reader #black panther #fanfic

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volkswagonblues · 4 years ago

Note

I wish you would write a fic about piandao and jeong jeong, like just anything about them but i'd read the SHIT out of the modern au you told me about where they bicker about politics

SO. This is the WORST time to be writing 1.5k of fiction about a modern (well, 90′s) AU starring two dudes who have never even spoken to each other in canon, but uh, the world is awful and I consider creating rarepair content a form of self-care, so here we go.

The context for this is of course, JJ is second-generation Korean-American from LA, Piandao is a foreign student from Taiwan pursuing a doctorate in the US. The year is 1993 and ideas about race, activism, the term “Asian-American” are all up in the air. We are one year post the ‘92 L.A. race riots and four years away from antiretroviral therapy becoming the new treatment standard for HIV. The AIDS crisis is in full swing, as it has been since the 80′s. Welcome to America.

“Jujube”

The week after his appendectomy, Piandao is up and moving around by the end of the third day, a full four days ahead of schedule. His shoulder aches, the scar on his stomach hurts, but still, he is up and moving, even though Jeong Jeong rolls his eyes when he catches him walking up and down the length of his bedroom, working the muscles that are suffering more from being bed-bound than from surgery.

Jeong Jeong, underneath the surly exterior, is a surprisingly maternal caretaker. Piandao has no appetite for anything flavourful in the first few days, which the nurses said was normal. So for every meal since he’s back from the hospital, Jeong Jeong cooks him a bowl of porridge and does it with a degree of care that Piandao honestly did not know he possessed. Piandao wouldn’t have minded just plain white rice and water, but Jeong Jeong, in his typical Jeong Jeong-fashion, disagreed. He spends a long time in Piandao’s kitchen every morning, making what he claims is the superior (ie, Korean) juk that his mother makes, but is really exactly similar to the zhou Piandao is used to back home, only it’s made by an angry Korean man swearing at the morning cable news, taking only occasional breaks to bemoan the sad state of Asian grocery stores in Midwest college towns.

“I’m feeling well enough to cook,” Piandao says on the morning of his fourth day home. “JJ, relax. You don’t have to do everything around here.”

Jeong Jeong looks up from his work: crushing sesame seeds in a plastic bag with the back of a soup spoon. “Shut the fuck up,” he says easily.

“I can at least wash the dishes—“

“I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to Bill Ritter.”

Piandao looks at the television in the corner. A news show was on, some Sunday morning thing he doesn’t remember seeing before. Currently, it was showing them three glossy-looking American hosts sitting on glossy-looking American couches. A man in a beige suit was saying something very earnest about the President and Haiti and also taxes. Piandao guesses that he’s Bill Ritter.

“Fucking Clinton already retracting on his fucking word,” Jeong Jeong mutters, then smashes the spoon down with ferocious force; in their plastic bag, the sesame seeds die and ascend to paste in an instant.

Piandao bites back a smile. He switches the channel: ads now, more glossy Americans driving glossy American cars, big and square. The ad changes: a family of four arriving at a motel, everything even bigger and squarer than the previous one. The mother in a big square jacket; the father smile with big square teeth. The kids chatter in excited tones: We’re so happy to be at Holiday Inn Express! Then Piandao hits the off button, and the American family disappears; the screen puckers up into dark silence again.

He slowly feels his way into the kitchen instead. He rather watch Jeong Jeong cook.

On the stove, the porridge bubbles. Jeong Jeong adds the pounded sesame and gives it a stir, then adds more sugar, then milk. He ladles it into two bowls and brings it over to the kitchen table, which is also the living room table, which is also Piandao’s desk where he grades students’ lab reports and corrects exams. There were a few back issues of various astrophysics journals still stacked there; Jeong Jeong puts them to use as coasters. Volume 10, issue 4 of Space Science Review goes to Piandao’s bowl; the special Winter 1992 edition of Annual Review of Astronomy and Astrophysics to Jeong Jeong. Piandao, trailing behind him, brings the spoons. They sit down, knees almost touching.

“How is it?” asks Jeong Jeong.

Piandao blows on his spoon and takes in a mouthful. “Not bad,” he says. “Although it’ll be better with some – I don’t know the word – but those little red fruits.”

“Jujubes,” says Jeong Jeong, and then: “Fuck off, be grateful for what you’ve got. You know how long it took me to even locate some sesame seeds in a Salt Lake City grocery store?”

Sunday morning slants in from between the slats of the crooked window blinds. In the sharp angle of the light, his features look different: the sun picks out the bronze-ish tint in his dark hair, makes the shell of his ear glow pink and red. In front of him, the steam from the porridge unfurls in delicate, thin grey spirals.

Piandao put his spoon down. “I’m glad you’re here,” he says. “You really didn’t have to. The plane ticket from Los Angeles must have been expensive.”

A shrug. “Couldn’t let you die alone in Utah, of all places.”

“It was just an appendectomy. How much did you pay for the flight? I can…I can pay you back, the university gives me a stipend, I can afford it.”

Jeong Jeong sets his spoon down too, picks up the bowls and takes them over to rinse in the sink.

“When I got the call from the secretary,” he says, not looking up from the dish sponge. “She didn’t say what happened. She just said, please can you be informed that Mr. Liu has been taken to the hospital for a medical emergency, she had just gone down the list of his emergency contact numbers and you happened to be the first one who picked up, and then she hung up. I barely got the name of the hospital out of her before she did. Nothing more. I called back and got a busy line. And then I thought – I started thinking – I didn’t know what I was thinking. I got scared. I just came back from SF that day – I went to see Johnny and Gene at the General, and when I got back in and the phone rang and the woman said you were sick too…I don’t know.”

The bowls, scrubbed to death, are getting beyond clean. Jeong Jeong throws the sponge down, where it lands with a wet smack.

“I know you’re not like me,“ he adds wretchedly. “I mean, I know you’re not a homosexual. And besides: fucking Utah? Of all places? I knew it was probably nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” Piandao says.

Jeong Jeong stabs a finger in his direction. “But don’t you dare pay me back though. Don’t you even try that shit on me. I will actually punch you if you try.”

Piandao says nothing. He pictures the cramped kitchenette of Jeong Jeong’s apartment off Hoover Street, with its ugly green plastic phone duct-taped to the wall, opposite to the grimy stove and the eternal stacks of takeout containers and the Proud Berkley Grad of ’87 fridge magnet that Piandao had bought him as a joke, when Jeong Jeong finally carried through on his threats and really dropped out, for good this time. He pictures Jeong Jeong stumbling back in fron the hospital, exhausted, and then accepting a long-distance call from Utah anyways.

Jeong Jeong had taken the call and flew out the very next morning. He had came in such a hurry that he brought nothing with him other than the clothes he was wearing and a backpack full of California oranges, because he had some idea that vitamin C was vital to every patient’s recovery, no matter the ailment. He had come to Piandao.

Times like this, Piandao wishes his English is better. Even now, after five years in this country, he has no way to express how he feels, right now, standing in the doorway of his kitchen while Jeong Jeong slams dishes and utensils back into their drawers, shoulders hunched over. Something hot and formless is coursing through his chest, but Piandao can’t shape it. He can’t forge the thing into words.

Perhaps there’s no words at all for this in English. Not in Chinese, either, and not in Korean. There are no words for this in any language in the world.

So Piandao reaches out instead. He touches a hand to the curve of Jeong Jeong’s back, and when Jeong Jeong looks over, questioning, he clears his throat and says:

“I liked it. The zhou.”

“You mean juk,” Jeong Jeong corrects him, as contrary as ever.

“Alright, the juk. It was very good.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not shitting me?”

“No. I should call your mother, tell her what a good chef her son is becoming.”

“Fuck off,” Jeong Jeong says, but he smiles anyways.

Piandao smiles back. His hand is still where he put it, resting on Jeong Jeong’s back, and he does not move it away. This, also – this is an unspoken message, but not for forever. Already Piandao can see the shape of it in his future. Something was unfurling between them, as delicate as steam, as marvellous as light.

#my fic #Avatar The Last Airbender #pianjeong #lmao my headcanon for this niche pairing is so insanely highly specific idk what to even do about this #not sure if this even makes sense #but also my brain desperately needs a distraction from the News (tm)#so to anyone who's into asian american history and rairpairs #bitch please #join me in the 90s #its also quite shit over there but i have the benefit of historical distance to cushion the misery

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crowdvscritic · 4 years ago

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round up // MARCH + APRIL 21

March and April were a whirlwind of vaccines and awards shows! A full year after we starting staying at home, the end of this weird chapter in recent history seems like it might finally be coming to a close, and this pop culture awards season—typically a time full of fun and glamour—captured our moment weirdly well. (Emphasis on the weird.) This month’s recommendations is filled with more Critic Picks than usual, so without further delay, let’s dive right in...

March + April Crowd-Pleasers

Double Feature — 2018 Action Thrillers: Bad Times at the El Royale + Den of Thieves

In Bad Times at the El Royale (Crowd: 9/10, // Critic: 8/10), Jeff Bridges, Cynthia Erivo, Jon Hamm, Chris Hemsworth, and Dakota Johnson are staying at a motel on the California-Nevada state line full of money, murder, and mystery. In Den of Thieves (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6.5/10), Gerard Butler takes on some of the best bank robbers in the world. Whether you like your action with a dose of mystery or the thrills of plot twists, these will fit the bill.

Double Feature — ‘80s Comedies: Caddyshack (1980) + Splash (1984)

In the mood for pure silliness? Take your pick between a mermaid and a gopher! Five years before The Little Mermaid, Tom Hanks fell for Daryl Hannah’s blonde hair and scaly tail, and John Candy was his goofy brother in Splash (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10). And four years before Ghostbusters, Bill Murray was the goof on a golf course full of funny people like Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, and Ted Knight in Caddyshack (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10).

Double Feature — 1980s Coming-of-Age Films Starring Corey Feldman, Kiefer Sutherland, and Challenging Brother Relationships That Influenced Stranger Things: Stand by Me (1986) + The Lost Boys (1987)

Believe it or not, I had no idea these two ‘80s classics had so much in common when I chose to watch them back-to-back. In Rob Reiner’s adaptation of Stephen King’s Stand by Me (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10), four kids (Feldman, Jerry O’Connell, River Phoenix, and Wil Wheaton) are following train tracks to find a missing body. In The Lost Boys (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10), Corey Haim and Jason Patric move to a small California town and discover it’s full of ‘80s movie star cameos and…vampires? One is a thoughtful coming-of-age story and one is just bonkers, but both are a great time.

Spaceman by Nick Jonas (2021)

My love for the Jonas Brothers is well-documented, so instead of going down the rabbit hole I started digging at 15, I’ll talk about how Nick Jonas’s latest solo album will likely appeal to a wider audience than just the fans of the brothers’ bombastic pop records. It’s full of catchy tunes you’ll play on repeat and an R&B-influenced album experience about the loneliness we’ve experienced in the last year and how we try to make long-term relationships work.

Ted Lasso (2020- )

I love stories about nice people crushing cruelty and cynicism with relentless kindness, and Ted Lasso (Jason Sudeikis) is the warmest, most dedicated leader this side of Leslie Knope. Be sure to catch up on these witty and sweet 10 episodes before season 2 drops later this summer.

Double Feature — Tony Scott Action Flicks: Enemy of the State (1998) + The Taking of Pelham 123 (2009)

Tony Scott’s movies have got explosions and excitement in spades. I love a good man-on-the-run movie, and in Enemy of the State (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10), Will Smith is running through the streets of D.C. after getting evidence of a politician’s (Jon Voight) part in a murder. I also love a tense story set in a confined space, which is what Denzel Washington is dealing with in The Taking of Pelham 123 (Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) after a hammy John Travolta takes a New York subway train hostage.

Double Feature — Baseball Movies: The Natural (1984) + Trouble With the Curve (2012)

Sue me—I love baseball movies. Robert Redford plays a fictional all-time great in the early days of the MLB in The Natural (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10), and Clint Eastwood plays a fictional all-time great scout in his late career in Trouble With the Curve (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7.5/10). If you love baseball or actors like Amy Adams, Glenn Close, Robert Duvall, and Justin Timberlake, these movies are just right here waiting for you.

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Nate Bargatze: The Greatest Average American (2021)

Sue me—I enjoy Netflix standup comedy specials that are safe enough to watch with your whole family. That’s exactly the crowd I laughed with over Easter weekend, and while the trailer captures Bargatze’s relaxed vibe, it doesn’t capture how funny he really is.

The Mighty Ducks (1992)

I thought somewhere in my childhood I’d seen at least one of The Mighty Ducks movies, but after watching all three, I think my memories must’ve come from previews on the VHS tapes for other Disney movies I watched over and over again. The original still holds up as an grown-ups, which is why even my parents got sucked in to this family movie while just passing through the living room. Bonus for ‘80s movies lovers: Emilio Estevez is basically continuing Andrew Clark’s story from The Breakfast Club as an adult. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

Double Feature — New, Dumb Action on Streaming: Godzilla vs. Kong + Thunder Force (2021)

If you want something intelligent, go ahead and skip to the next recommendation, but if you’re looking for something stupid fun, these are ready for you on HBO Max and Netflix. Thunder Force (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6/10) follows Melissa McCarthy and Octavia Spencer as they train to become superheroes who take on superhuman sociopaths wreaking havoc on Chicago, and alongside Jason Bateman, they do it with a lot of laughs. Godzilla vs. Kong (Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 5/10) is, um, exactly what it sounds like, so I’ll skip a plot summary and just say it’s exactly what you want from this kind of movie. #TeamKong

3:10 to Yuma (2007)

All you need to know is Russell Crowe is an outlaw, and Christian Bale is the guy who’s got to get him on the train to prison. I also watched the 1957 version, which is also a solid watch if you love classic Westerns. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021)

Marvel’s newest series isn’t nearly as inventive as WandaVision, and it may not land every beat, but it’s worth a watch for the fun new gadgets, Sebastian Stan’s dry joke delivery, and its exploration into themes of what makes a hero and what governments owe their citizens. It’s a pretty satisfying entry in the MCU canon, but I’d also recommend re-watching Captain America: Winter Soldier and Civil War—the canon is getting expansive, and it’s getting trickier every year to keep up with all the backstory.

March + April Critic Picks

Best of 2020 Picks

As per usual, the months leading up to the Oscars becomes a binge period for potential Oscar nominees. In March and April, I watched many of the films that made my Top 20 of 2020, including Boys State, The Father, Judas and the Black Messiah, Let Them All Talk, Minari, Nomadland, On the Rocks, One Night in Miami…, Promising Young Woman, Soul, and Sound of Metal. You can read how I ranked them on my list for ZekeFilm, plus reviews of The Father, Minari, Promising Young Woman, and Soul.

Bonus: If you loved On the Rocks, don’t miss this feature and beautiful photography starring Sofia Coppola, Kirsten Dunst, Elle Fanning, and Rashida Jones for W Magazine.

Stranger Than Fiction (2006)

What would you do if you started hearing a voice who narrated your every thought and move? If you’re Will Ferrell, you’ll seek out a literary professor (Dustin Hoffman), fall in love (with Maggie Gyllenhaal), and track down the voice (Emma Thompson) who’s making ominous predictions about your future. Stranger Than Fiction is funny thought-provoking, and an unusual but welcome role for Ferrell. Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

All the Royal Family News

Speaking of stranger than fiction, it’s been a busy few months for the Royal Family. We’ve celebrated 95th birthday of Queen Elizabeth, the 3rd birthday of Prince Louis, and the 10th anniversary of Will and Kate’s marriage. We also lost Prince Philip, and we watched the drama of Harry and Meaghan’s interview with Oprah. No matter what happens to their Crown, I don’t think we’ll ever get over our fascination with the Windsor family. A few pieces worth reading from the last few months:

“In Meghan and Harry’s Interview, Two TV Worlds Collided,” Vulture.com

“The Queen’s Man: Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, Dies,” TIME.com

“Obituary: HRH The Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh,” BBC.com

Goodfellas (1990)

One of my film opinions that makes me feel like a phony is that Martin Scorsese just isn’t my cup of tea. He’s brilliant, but his films tend to be long and dark, two qualities that are never my first choice…and somehow Goodfellas still worked for me? Maybe it was the TV edit graciously toning down the violence or maybe it was that Ray Liotta and Joe Pesci were firing on all cylinders, but for some reason this ‘90s classic didn’t suck the joy out of my evening like Scorsese often does. (Bonus: For a Martin Scorsese/Robert De Niro I don’t really recommend, head to the last section of this Round Up.)

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Fearless (Taylor’s Version) (2021)

Her voice has only matured, so Taylor Swift revisiting her old albums is like upgrading a blast to the past. Plus, the six new tracks make me feel like 15 crushing on that boy in Spanish class again, and her Grammys performance (just before her third Album of the Year win) was magical and folklore-tastic.

Double Feature — ‘60s Action Classics: The Guns of Navarone (1961) + Planet of the Apes (1968)

The Guns of Navarone (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10) follows Gregory Peck and David Niven as they destroy Nazi weapons in the Mediterranean. Planet of the Apes (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10) follows Charlton Heston as he attempts to escape from, well, a planet full of apes. The pacing of ‘60s films doesn’t always hold up, but that’s not the case with this pair. Both are still full of suspense, and you can’t go wrong hanging with casts like these.

Let Him Go (2020)

Kevin Costner and Diane Lane play a farming couple who unexpectedly help raise a boy who lost his biological father—sound familiar? But instead of a superhero origin story, they’re part of a thrilling Western with performances nuanced (Costner and Lane) and showy (Lesley Manville). If I’d watched this before completing my Best of 2020 piece, it likely would’ve been on my list. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

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The Oscars

I’m a ride-or-die fan of the Academy Awards, but I’ll admit even I found this year’s ceremony odd. Instead of focusing on what wasn’t so hot, I’ll recommend a few moments you don’t want to miss:

Emerald Fennell giving a shout-out to Saved by the Bell

Daniel Kaluuya acknowledging his parents’ sex life during his acceptance speech (??)

Yuh-Jung Yoon flirting with Brad Pitt and acknowledging she’s just “luckier” than her fellow nominees

Glenn Close dancing to…”Da Butt”?

You can also read about the historic wins and nominations from this year’s Oscar class and why the Golden Globes were an even stranger production weeks earlier.

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Trailer-palooza!

Movies are on their way back, y’all! I’m counting down the days until I can get back to a theatre, and even if some of these movies are duds, I’m planning to see all of them on a big screen if possible:

Those Who Wish Me Dead (May 14)

Cruella (May 28)

In the Heights (June 11)

Space Jam 2 (July 16)

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (September 3)

West Side Story (December 10)

Also in March + April…

To add to the Oscars love, you can listen to a conversation about what we learn about family, community, and society in some of the year’s biggest nominees on the Uncommon Voices podcast. I join regular hosts Michael and Kenneth in this episode, and I recommend all of their thoughtful discussions on their “What’s Streaming” episodes.

I’ve previously recommended the Do You Like Apples weekly newsletter, so I’m proud to share I contributed twice in March! I wrote about Love and Basketball, directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood, and one of my all-time favorite Julia Roberts rom-coms, Notting Hill. (I also tied to win their Oscars pool, but I suppose that’s less exciting for you than me.)

It was a busy couple of months on SO IT’S A SHOW! New logo, new email list, new Instagram, and a host of new episodes about a flop of a Madonna flick, a Swedish children’s TV show, an urban legend turned into a horror movie, one of the best films about journalism ever, and a Martin Scorsese movie about a real boxer.

Most of what I wrote for ZekeFilm in March and April was mentioned in Best of 2020 recommendations…except for The Nest, a film that couldn’t figure out what genre it wanted to be.

Photo credits: Nick Jonas, Royal Family. All others IMDb.com.

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mythgirlimagines · 4 years ago

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Seeing as how certain Anons loved the Condemnation of the Guilty talentswaps, I thought I’d try again! Let’s give a warm welcome to Myth, the Former Ultimate Barista!

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BACKSTORY AND TALENT

For all of her life, Myth has been living in a coffee shop that doubles as her home, along with her parents and two older sisters. The coffee shop (known as Latte Love) happened to start out as a collaboration between the Ultimate Pastry Chef (Myth’s father) and the Ultimate Mixologist (Myth’s mother). Coincidently, Myth’s two older sisters happened to be Ultimates before her, thanks to the fame of Latte Love, with her older sister being the current Ultimate Pastry Chef and her other older sister being the Ultimate Tea Master. Latte Love is famous for its wide selections of both drinks and pastries to enjoy with your beverage of choice, but it was catapulted into pure stardom thanks to a particular skill that Myth has, apart from her general hospitality and drink-mixing skills: latte art. Because of Myth’s adorable and expertly-crafted latte art, the popularity of Latte Love exploded, particularly on social media. Myth is also known for her romantic advice to her customers, despite not being in a relationship herself, which led to a lot of her customers finding love.

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RELATIONSHIPS

Wyre Anon, Former Ultimate Drummer

Wyre is the well-known drummer of the emo-grunge-rock band “FOZZIL HUNT”, and is famous for their wild drum solos and their equally wild personality. Wyre and Myth have been the best of friends, ever since they were little, and not even their busy schedules can keep them apart. When Wyre isn’t booked with tours and concerts, they always come to Latte Love and orders their usual, knowing that Myth would prepare their order with that signature sweet smile of hers. Wyre has a bit of a complex and love-hate relationship with a certain confrontational rebellion leader, and Myth always tries to pair them up, much to their protests.

Outfit: A red bandana on her head, elaborate makeup, a black tank top with her band’s logo on the front that shows off her tattooed arms, blue Jean shorts with brown holsters to hold her drumsticks in, black boots.

Anon Scar, Ultimate Drill Sargent

With a loud voice and a strict and heavily-concerned demeanor, Scar‘s personality makes her the perfect person to lead soldiers in their crusade for their country. Commonly regarded as a mother to her soldiers in tales of the battlefield, Scar yearns to hang up her uniform and go back to the good ol’ days of childhood leisure. Scar has a strict schedule, and always arrives at Latte Love by the time Myth turns the open sign. Scar seems to be enamored by the skittish and fanatic priest, and just seeing him makes her maternal instincts flair up. Despite finding Scar eccentric, Myth finds her stories fascinating, and tries to pair the sergeant and the priest.

Outfit: A tattered bandana version of her face mask, black sunglasses, a black tanktop with a camo jacket slung on her shoulders, dark green pants, boots from original design.

Fusion Anon, Ultimate Fashion Designer

Having gotten his start working at his mother’s boutique, Fusion draws the design of the garments, while his mother makes the actual garments. Fusion originally went to Latte Love purely to both gorge himself on pastries and caffeine, and sketch the outfits of the customers that frequent Latte Love. But now, he has a new goal in mind: helping Myth with pairing up the customers. Myth considers Fusion one of her most frequent customers, and finds it amazing that this svelte and proper gentleman can eat his weight in food. Fusion and Myth have a mutual respect for each other, and consider each other “partners in matchmaking“.

Outfit: A blue and yellow striped vest over a red dress shirt and a yellow bow tie, white gloves that hide his work injuries, a tape measure tied around his neck and arms, pants, glasses and shoes from his original design, always holds a sketchbook.

Fusion Anon II, Ultimate Gunslinger

Growing up as a fan of old westerns and historical fiction, Fusion II is a master when it comes to gunmanship and is especially skilled when it comes to the quick draw. Every good cowgirl needs a saloon, and Fusion II quickly established Latte Love as her saloon. But as much as Fusion II tries to play up the ”cool and stoic cowgirl” stint, it’s kind of hard to do that when she’s a bi disaster attracted to the oddly-energetic and childish bed tester. Myth can sympathize with Fusion II’s bi hangups and, as much as Fusion II tries to deny it, the sarcastic gun master really appreciates the kindly barkeep’s company.

Outfit: A silver cowboy hat, jacket from original design with a gold sheriff star pinned to the front, over a red flannel shirt and a blue bandana around her neck, blue jeans with a brown holster that houses her guns, steel-toed cowboy boots.

Just Anon, Ultimate Card Shark

Janon is a feared name in underground gambling tournaments, and for a good reason. With his unreadable face and his skill in the art of cheating and deception, Janon truly earned the epithet of “The Night Terror”. Gambling and lying seems to be the only two things that Janon really puts effort into doing, for he puts the upmost minimal effort into anything else. Janon regularly crashes at Latte Love and occupies one of the tables to take a snooze. Despite Janon claiming that he does it for snorts and giggles, Myth quickly found out the real reason: to check out the adorable delivery person that frequents the coffee shop.

Outfit: A white and pink fedora, mask from original design, a brown jacket with suit-themed pins, over a pink and black tie with a bunny pin, a black belt with a bunny buckle, brown pants, brown shoes.

Sparkle Anon, Former Ultimate Pinball Wizard

Known for her loud and eccentric fashion sense and her equally eccentric personality, Sparkle dominated pinball machine after pinball machine in every local, and even extralocal, arcade. Needless to say, Myth’s day instantly became weirder the very second Sparkle entered Latte Love and loudly announced her presence to everybody. But ever since Sparkle found out that her favorite mangaka frequents the cafe alongside their twin, Sparkle has frequented the cafe much more. Sparkle’s little celebrity crush on the mangaka didn’t go unnoticed by Myth, and she helps the loud wizard with vocalizing her feelings.

Outfit: A wizard hat and cloak that is colored with obnoxious 90’s-esque patterns, glasses and boots from original design.

Egg Anon, Former Ultimate Mangaka, and Wet Sock Anon, Former Ultimate Thanatologist

With their shared penchant of the horrific and cursed, this fearsome duo go about their interests in completely different ways. While Wet Sock takes a more cold and scientific approach to their interest in the macabre, Egg takes their macabre mindset and uses it to create popular horror manga. While they are thought of as a bane to the wholesome atmosphere of Latte Love, two people actually look forward to the twin’s presence: Sparkle and Myth. Despite Wet Sock’s severe denial of their feelings, Wet Sock still continues to stick around Myth’s desk, and Myth eventually found out the reason why: Wet Sock is head-over-heels for her.

Outfit: Both of them wear entirely black gakurans and glasses, but Egg has a pocket protector and ink-stained hands, and Wet Sock has a skull pin and dirt-stained hands.

Curious Anon, Jr. Ultimate Deliveryperson

From a young age, Curious has been working for a variety of companies as a door-to-door delivery person and is renowned for their punctuality and sweet smile. Curious is currently working under Latte Love, as its reliable coffee and pastry delivery person. Myth views Curious as a bit of a mystery. For example, she always gives Curious coffee to perk them up on night deliveries, but she never sees Curious actually drink the coffee. That, and she’s heavily concerned about the fact that a middle schooler is working full-time as a delivery person, and doesn’t seem to show any signs of being tired.

Outfit: An entirely green outfit consisting of a cap, polo shirt, pants and tennis shoes, with their hair in a small ponytail.

Anon Nerd, Former Ultimate Revolutionary

Born in a corrupt and dirt-poor city, Nerd grew up yearning for the government to be overthrown by someone actually worthy of leading, such as himself for instance. After gathering up a cavalcade of followers with his cynical, yet rousing, speeches, Nerd organized a revolution and managed to overthrow the government of the town, and lead the citizens to a healthier and more productive life. Nerd pities Myth and sees her as “a slave to the grain”, whatever that means. And with a loud and violent man, Myth paired him up with an equally loud and violent lady. Nerd is currently trying to seduce Wyre with loud protest songs.

Outfit: Same outfit from his original design but with a ragged green cape, a red armband, and a red megaphone clipped to his belt.

Eldritch Anon, Ultimate Priest

As a person born under the creators of a creepy cult from the middle of nowhere, Eldritch has been forced to conduct the religious proceedings of the cult, ever since he became a teenager. Needless to say, Eldritch hasn’t exactly been raised correctly, for he doesn’t seem to trust anyone who isn’t in his cult, and yearns to indoctrinate others into his religion. Unfortunately for the paranoid priest, he has fallen in love with someone outside of his fate, a maternal drill sargaent, and he is currently awaiting his divine punishment from his deity. And that blasted barkeep isn’t helping matters either.

Outfit: A black hooded cassock with oversized sleeves and a golden cross necklace,

Dream Anon, Ultimate Bed Tester

One review from Dream is enough to make or break entire bed companies, and she takes her talent very seriously. Despite what her talent and clothes would suggest, Dream is very energetic, has trouble standing still, and her hyper attitude is quite contagious to boot. Ever since she happened upon the coffee shop run by the nice barista, she has found the coolest girl ever: an actual cowgirl! Dream thinks it‘s very funny to watch the sharpshooter get all flustered and blushy when Dream gets too close to her. Myth always looks forward to Dream’s daily visits and her energy is enough to brighten up Myth’s day.

Outfit: A pink sleeping mask, a blue hoodie with a fluffy hood and a pink swirly pattern over a black t-shirt with a pink heart on the front, black and white pajama shorts, white socks and pink slippers, hair that reaches her mid-back.

Iris Anon, Jr. Ultimate Samurai

Before meeting Iris, Myth thought that samurai became extinct a long time ago. You would not believe Myth‘s disbelief of an actual samurai heiress not only existing in the modern day, but also eating at her cafe and actually liking the food. Just like with Fusion, Iris chose to help Myth out in her matchmaking endeavors, for she actually has romantic experience and can offer the patrons advice. While initially in disbelief that a middle schooler could have more romantic game than her, she decided to let the clumsy yet earnest samurai work her relationship magic, and it actually worked half of the time, much to Myth’s astonishment.

Outfit: A blue kimono with a yellow galaxy-like pattern all over, a silver katana sheath, white socks and brown geta sandals.

Purple Anon, Ultimate Statistical Analyst

Whenever Fusion gives his order out to Myth, he always adds candy to his order for somebody named “Purple”. When asked who Purple is or why she never eats or drinks at Latte Love, Fusion claims that Purple is really shy and never really leaves her house. However, Purple still manages to be an indirect assistant to Myth, Fusion and Iris’s matchmaking endeavors. Whenever any of the matchmakers have an idea, Fusion will text the idea to Purple, to get a statistical analysis on the success of the plan. Myth is truly grateful to Purple, for saving her chocolate-dipped bacon from failed plans, even though the two never met.

Outfit: A black jacket over a purple turtleneck and a red and black striped tie, skirt, stockings and shoes from original design, mid-back length hair in a ponytail and black fake glasses.

This series centers around Myth’s matchmaking misadventures, as she works hard to stir up romance between the eccentric customers of her coffee shop, along with the help of Fusion, Purple and Iris. Successful results may vary. Basically a Coffee Shop AU!

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APPEARANCE

Barista!Myth wears thick and square-rimmed glasses and her long hair in twin braids with a green hairband on top. As for her clothing, Myth wears a brown apron with Latte Love’s logo on the front, over a green turtleneck sweater, brown pants and black slip-on shoes.

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PERSONALITY

Barista!Myth carries herself with a calming and extroverted personality. However, Barista!Myth is a very low-energy extrovert, and is very content with just watching and conversing with people from behind her front desk. A lot of her younger customers compare her to a kind, patient and caring mom, and she’s just the person to talk to, if you want advice. Barista!Myth has a surprisingly amazing memory, and just by looking at her regulars, she can remember their name and their usual. Barista!Myth retains her love of matchmaking and terrible puns from Romantic!Myth.

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I hope you like this talentswap and don’t mind the rarepairs! If you don’t like the ships, let me know! Have a sweet week, everyanon!

-Fusion Anon

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I love this!!

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bananaofswifts · 4 years ago

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Your guide to the singer-songwriter’s surprise follow-up to Folklore.

CARL WILSON

When everything’s clicking for Taylor Swift, the risk is that she’s going to push it too far and overtax the public appetite. On “Mirrorball” from Folklore, she sings, with admirable self-knowledge, “I’ve never been a natural/ All I do is try, try, try.” So when I woke up yesterday to the news that at midnight she was going to repeat the trick she pulled off with Folklore in July—surprise-releasing an album of moody pop-folk songs remote-recorded in quarantine with Aaron Dessner of the National as well as her longtime producer Jack Antonoff—I was apprehensive. Would she trip back into the pattern of overexposure and backlash that happened between 1989 and Reputation?

Listening to the new Evermore, though, that doesn’t feel like such a threat. A better parallel might be to the “Side B” albums that Carly Rae Jepsen put out after both Emotion and Dedicated, springing simply out of the artist’s and her fans’ mutual enthusiasm. Or, closer to Swift’s own impulses here, publishing an author’s book of short stories soon after a successful novel. Lockdown has been a huge challenge for musicians in general, but it liberated Swift from the near-perpetual touring and publicity grind she’s been on since she was a teen, and from her sense of obligation to turn out music that revs up stadium crowds and radio programmers. Swift has always seemed most herself as the precociously talented songwriter; the pop-star side is where her try-hard, A-student awkwardness surfaces most. Quarantine came as a stretch of time to focus mainly on her maturing craft (she turns 31 on Sunday), to workshop and to woodshed. When Evermore was announced, she said that she and her collaborators—clearly mostly Dessner, who co-writes and/or co-produces all but one of these 15 songs—simply didn’t want to stop writing after Folklore.

This record further emphasizes her leap away from autobiography into songs that are either pure fictions or else lyrically symbolic in ways that don’t act as romans à clef. On Folklore, that came with the thrill of a breakthrough. Here, she fine-tunes the approach, with the result that Evermore feels like an anthology, with less of an integrated emotional throughline. But that it doesn’t feel as significant as Folklore is also its virtue. Lowered stakes offer permission to play around, to joke, to give fewer fucks—and this album definitely has the best swearing in Swift’s entire oeuvre.

Because it’s nearly all Dessner overseeing production and arrangements, there isn’t the stylistic variety that Antonoff’s greater presence brought to Folklore. However, Swift and Dessner seem to have realized that the maximalist-minimalism that dominated Folklore, with layers upon layers of restrained instrumental lines for the sake of atmosphere, was too much of a good thing. There are more breaks in the ambience on Evermore, the way there was with Folklore’s “Betty,” the countryish song that was among many listener’s favorites. But there are still moments that hazard misty lugubriousness, and perhaps with reduced reward.

Overall, people who loved Folklore will at least like Evermore too, and the minority of Swift appreciators who disapproved may even warm up to more of the sounds here. I considered doing a track-by-track comparison between the two albums, but that seemed a smidgen pathological. Instead, here is a blatantly premature Day 1 rundown of the new songs as I hear them.

A pleasant yet forgettable starting place, “Willow” has mild “tropical house” accents that recall Ed Sheeran songs of yesteryear, as well as the prolix mixed metaphors Swift can be prone to when she’s not telling a linear story. But not too severely. I like the invitation to a prospective lover to “wreck my plans.” I’m less sure why “I come back stronger than a ’90s trend” belongs in this particular song, though it’s witty. “Willow” is more fun as a video (a direct sequel to Folklore’s “Cardigan” video) than as a lead track, but I’m not mad at it here either.

Written with “William Bowery”—the pseudonym of Swift’s boyfriend Joe Alwyn, as she’s recently confirmed—this is the first of the full story songs on Evermore, in this case a woman describing having walked away from her partner on the night he planned to propose. The music is a little floaty and non-propulsive, but the tale is well painted, with Swift’s protagonist willingly taking the blame for her beau’s heartbreak and shrugging off the fury of his family and friends—“she would have made such a lovely bride/ too bad she’s fucked in the head.” Swift sticks to her most habitual vocal cadences, but not much here goes to waste. Except, that is, for the title phrase, which doesn’t feel like it adds anything substantial. (Unless the protagonist was drunk?) I do love the little throwaway piano filigree Dessner plays as a tag on the end.

This is the sole track Antonoff co-wrote and produced, and it’s where a subdued take on the spirit of 1989-style pop resurges with necessary energy. Swift is singing about having a crush on someone who’s too attractive, too in-demand, and relishing the fantasy but also enjoying passing it up. It includes some prime Swiftian details, like, “With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from your door,” or, “At dinner parties I call you out on your contrarian shit.” The line about this thirst trap’s “hair falling into place like dominos” I find much harder to picture.

This is where I really snapped to attention. After a few earlier attempts, Swift has finally written her great Christmas song, one to stand alongside “New Year’s Day” in her holiday canon. And it’s especially a great one for 2020, full of things none of us ought to do this year—go home to visit our parents, hook up with an ex, spend the weekend in their bedroom and their truck, then break their hearts again when we leave. But it’s done with sincere yuletide affection to “the only soul who can tell which smiles I’m faking,” and “the warmest bed I’ve ever known.” All the better, we get to revisit these characters later on the album.

On first listen, I found this one of the draggiest Dressner compositions on the record. Swift locates a specific emotional state recognizably and poignantly in this song about a woman trapped (or, she wonders, maybe not trapped?) in a relationship with an emotionally withholding, unappreciative man. But the static keyboard chord patterns and the wandering melody that might be meant to evoke a sense of disappointment and numbness risk yielding numbing and disappointing music. Still, it’s growing on me.

Featuring two members of Haim—and featuring a character named after one of them, Este—“No Body, No Crime” is a straight-up contemporary country song, specifically a twist on and tribute to the wronged-woman vengeance songs that were so popular more than a decade ago, and even more specifically “Before He Cheats,” the 2006 smash by Carrie Underwood, of which it’s a near musical clone, just downshifted a few gears. Swift’s intricate variation on the model is that the singer of the song isn’t wreaking revenge on her own husband, but on her best friend’s husband, and framing the husband’s mistress for the murder. It’s delicious, except that Swift commits the capital offence of underusing the Haim sisters purely as background singers, aside from one spoken interjection from Danielle.

This one has some of the same issues as “Tolerate It,” in that it lags too much for too long, but I did find more to focus on musically here. Lyrically and vocally, it gets the mixed emotions of a relatively amicable divorce awfully damned right, if I may speak from painfully direct experience.

This is the song sung from the POV of the small-town lover that the ambitious L.A. actress from “Tis the Damn Season”—Dorothea, it turns out—has left behind in, it turns out, Tupelo. Probably some years past that Xmas tryst, when the old flame finally has made it. “A tiny screen’s the only place I see you now,” he sings, but adds that she’s welcome back anytime: “If you’re ever tired of being known/ For who you know/ You know that you’ll always know me.” It’s produced and arranged with a welcome lack of fuss. Swift hauls out her old high-school-romance-songs vocal tone to reminisce about “skipping the prom/ just to piss off your mom,” very much in the vein of Folklore’s teen-love-triangle trilogy.

A duet with Dessner’s baritone-voiced bandmate in the National, Matt Berninger, “Coney Island” suffers from the most convoluted lyrics on Evermore (which, I wonder unkindly, might be what brought Berninger to mind?). The refrain “I’m on a beach on Coney Island, wondering where did my baby go” is a terrific tribute to classic pop, but then Swift rhymes it with “the bright lights, the merry go,” as if that’s a serviceable shorthand for merry-go-round, and says “sorry for not making you my centerfold,” as if that’s somehow a desirable relationship outcome. The comparison of the bygone affair to “the mall before the internet/ It was the one place to be” is clever but not exactly moving, and Berninger’s lines are worse. Dessner’s droning arrangement does not come to the rescue.

This song is also overrun with metaphors but mostly in an enticing, thematically fitting way, full of good Swiftian dark-fairytale grist. It’s fun to puzzle out gradually the secret that all the images are concealing—an engaged woman being drawn into a clandestine affair. And there are several very good “goddamns.”

The lyrical conceit here is great, about two gold-digging con artists whose lives of scamming are undone by their falling in love. It reminded me of the 1931 pre-Code rom-com Blonde Crazy, in which James Cagney and Joan Blondell act out a very similar storyline. And I mostly like the song, but I can’t help thinking it would come alive more if the music sounded anything like what these self-declared “cowboys” and “villains” might sing. It’s massively melancholy for the story, and Swift needs a far more winningly roguish duet partner than the snoozy Marcus Mumford. It does draw a charge from a couple of fine guitar solos, which I think are played by Justin Vernon (aka Bon Iver, who will return shortly).

The drum machine comes as a refreshing novelty at this point. And while this song is mostly standard Taylor Swift torrents of romantic-conflict wordplay (full of golden gates and pedestals and dropping her swords and breaking her high heel, etc.), the pleasure comes in hearing her look back at all that and shrugging, “Long story short, it was a bad ti-i-ime,” “long story short, it was the wrong guy-uy-uy,” and finally, “long story short, I survived.” She passes along some counsel I’m sure she wishes she’d had back in the days of Reputation: “I wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things/ Your nemeses will defeat themselves.” It’s a fairly slight song but an earned valedictory address.

Swift fan lore has it that she always sequences the real emotional bombshell as Track 5, but here it is at 13, her lucky number. It’s sung to her grandmother, Marjorie Finlay, who died when Swift was in her early teens, and it manages to be utterly personal—down to the sample of Marjorie singing opera on the outro—and simultaneously utterly evocative to anyone who’s been through such grief. The bridge, full of vivid memories and fierce regrets, is the clincher.

This electroacoustic kiss-off song, loaded up with at least a fistful of gecs if not a full 100 by Dessner and co-producers BJ Burton and James McAlister, seems to be, lyrically, one of Swift’s somewhat tedious public airings of some music-industry grudge (on which, in case you don’t get it, she does not want “closure”), but, sonically, it’s a real ear-cleaner at this point on Evermore. Why she seems to shift into a quasi-British accent for fragments of it is anyone��s guess. But I’m tickled by the line, “I’m fine with my spite and my tears and my beers and my candles.”

I’m torn about the vague imagery and vague music of the first few verses of the album’s final, title track. But when Vernon, in full multitracked upper-register Bon Iver mode, kicks in for the duet in the middle, there’s a jolt of urgency that lands the redemptive ending—whether it’s about a crisis in love or the collective crisis of the pandemic or perhaps a bit of both—and satisfyingly rounds off the album.

#taylor-swift #pop #rock #country-music

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pearl-and-penny529 · 4 years ago

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Miraculous Fanfic: Truth Seeker Part: I

(Miraculous belongs to its rightful owners, the following content is just fan made)

Heyaa and welcome Miraculers!

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This fan fiction has been brought to you by Pearl and Penny . The format of the following piece may be a bit different from what is usual, nevertheless we hope it’s going to be interesting and as entertaining as several of the beautiful creations here on tumblr .After all, a little change is good, don't you think? Anyway, back to the introduction..where was I? Oh, right. The subsequent parts of the fanfic would be uploaded later on as specified. PLS DO NOT COPY WITHOUT PERMISSION OR REPOST.

❃.✮:▹More Details◃:✮.❃

Number of words: 1482

Time taken: 1 week

Category: Writing/Fanfiction

Previous part: This is the first one

Next part: Part 2, to be uploaded on 18/10/2020

Pearl: Storyboard

Penny: Editing

PLS DO NOT COPY WITHOUT PERMISSION.

--------- ♡ Thank you and Enjoy ♡ ---------

Scene: Miss Bustier’sclassroom: Classes are over; Marinette is packing her bag when she notices Alya vigorously typing something on her phone

Marinette: Hey Alya, I see you’ve been busy for quite sometime… What are you up to?

Marinette tries to peek over her shoulder but Alya turns aside, not allowing her to see the screen

Alya: Patience, my dear, patience! You might think my theories about Ladybug are crazy, but you watch, girl. I'll prove you wrong,cause’ this blogger has got the cat in the bag! The scoop is going to be (in a sing-song voice) absolutely amazing!!

Marinette: (Laughs) So I’m guessing it has something to do with the Ladyblog?

Alya: You bet! Remember that one time when I nearly figured out ladybug’s identity? When she dropped that textbook- OUR history textbook-while swinging across Paris with her yoyo?

Scene: Flashback from Pharaoh

Alya: Don't blink now, 'cause we are live from Paris. Yo peeps, Alya here, bringing you the one and only Ladyblog. (Helicopter noises) Huh? What is that? (Ladybug flies by, hanging on to her yo-yo, tied to a helicopter. She drops a book). Ladybug in action. Hang on 'cause we're going for a ride. (Alya runs over and picks up the book) Freak out! What you got here is no ordinary book, it's a tenth grade history book. And I should know, 'cause I've got this very same book. Could our very own Ladybug be a high school student, (zoomout to reveal the Ladyblog website, which Marinette Dupain-Cheng is watching the video from) in real life? Whoa!

Scene: Flashback ends; Back to reality: Inside the classroom

Marinette: Oh... (chuckles nervously) Yeah, I do remember.

Alya: So it was clear that she is a tenth standard student like us! Chances are, she may even study in our school!!

Marinette: (gulps) You sure about that? I thought you had lost that book before returning from the museum…

Alya: I am absolutely 100% sure. Ladybug could have easily taken that book with her while I was busy filling my fans in about how she saved me from the akumatised villain. Talk about superheroes being fast!!

Marinette: But-

Marinette is about to say something when Nino bursts in, hastily handing Alya an iPad with a fan page named ‘Lila and Ladybug’ open on the the screen.

Nino: Alya, check this out -- Lila is also running a blog about ladybug!!

Alya and Marinette: WHAT!!??

Alya grabs the tabletand after examining it carefully, clicks on one of the videos.

Lila in the video: I am such a big friend of Ladybug and she likes me sooo much. She even promised to tell me who she actually is. To be honest, we are almost inseparable, so it was not really impossible to see that coming.

The video ends; Marinette stands up and strikes her fists aggressively on the table; Alya frowns.

Marinette: She is such a fibster!

Alya: You can’t say that. (Looking down) Maybe she really is close to Ladybug...

Marinette: Why on EARTH do you never notice her lies?? What’s so special about her? She’s just like any other student in this school, well, except for the fact that she’s a pathological liar and psycho!! (Marinette starts to hyperventilate)

Alya: Marinette, calm down! Are you really jealous of her? Listen to me, don’t let your emotions get the better of you.

Marinette: (looks at Alya and crosses her arms) Why would I be jealous of Lila?

Alya: Well.. for starters, you know that she has a crush on Adrien and can ACTUALLY spend time with him. Secondly, I am sure you remember that our classmates wanted to vote her as the class president instead of you... and third of all she is the center of attention whenever she’s in the class.

Marinette: ..You really believe all that?

Marinette looks at Nino

Nino: (nods) Iagree with Alya.

Marinette: What’s wrong with you guys? It is as if you trust Lila over me!

Alya: Marinette, could you give me any reason why I should not trust Lila?

Marinette: (laughs sarcastically) You have NO idea! She is a brutal girl!

Nino scrolls through the blog and widens his eyes.

Nino: Whoa! She has reached 90 thousand followers in one day!! Alya you gotta step up your game!

Alya: (looks at the screen and gasps) Wha- What?

Marinette: She doesn’t deserve these many followers… she faked everything!

Alya: B-But I have been pursuing the Ladyblog for more than 8 months with only so much dedication and devotion. You guys know that, don’t you? You’ve seen me pour my blood, sweat and tears into this, and now Lila suddenly pops in and she’s become a celebrity and Ladybug’s best friend in a day?? (cups her face while trying to hold back a tear) Maybe she really is b-better than me.

Nino: (sits down next to Alya and lowers his voice) Hey, No one is better than you. You are the best, all of Paris knows it!

Alya remains stiff and lets out a sigh; Marinette suddenly recalls the huge pile of unfinished work she has back at home (as usual hehe)

Marinette: (jumps up and rushes to go out) Aaaaahh I have to go home, I have three assignments due tomorrow and a personal request from Jagged Stone to design the cover of his new album!! Oh, my parents are gonna kill me if I don’t help them out in the bakery even today... I’ll see you guys later (runs out the door and shouts) and Alya do not worry the truth always wins and I am sure about it!!

Scene: Marinette’s room: Marinette is listening to music, and embroidering on a piece of cloth with her tongue out.

Tikki: (pacing in circles around Marinette) Something doesn’t seem right. Lila is unpredictable – You can never know what she came up with this time.

Suddenly a thought strikes Marinette, making her gasp; she accidentally pricks herself with the sewing needle.

Marinette: Ow!

Tikki: What is the matter Marinette? You very rarely miss a stitch.

Marinette: (turning around to face Tikki) Do you remember how Lila spoke about revealing my identity?

Tikki: Yeah, she did, but that would be another lie.

Marinette: Tikki… what if she ends up getting akumatized and causing an illusion of me detransforming?

Tikki: That shouldn’t be a problem, she doesn’t know who you actually are.

Marinette: But the whole of Paris would think Ladybug is a dope! One time I convince them that revealing my identity would be dangerous, and the next moment, I suddenly do it! That’s a nuisance, don’t you think?

Tikki: That’s for sure, moreover, Chat Noir would think that you believe Lila over him.

Scene: Adrien’s room:Adrien is watching Lila’s blog at his desk

Lila in the video: She even promised to tell me who she actually is-

Adrien: (pauses the video and rotates his revolving chair to face Plagg) Lila is a serious liar. It’s getting out of hand, Plagg!

Plagg: (eating a large piece of camembert with his eyes closed) But she seems so confident, it’s hard to tell whether she is lying or not.

Adrien: It could be another illusion. The whole of Paris may fall for it, (subtly smiles) but I bet Ladybug would not.

Plagg: (swallows the entire piece) Kind of weird, when you think about it -- How would she create an illusion as Lila? If she is Volpina then everyone could tell she is akumatised and guess that Ladybug is an illusion.

Adrien: You might be right, I guess she has a lot of plans set up for it. Nice thinking, Plagg.

Plagg: What can I say? My brain is filled with cheesy goodness.

Scene: Agreste Mansion (the next day): Lila and Gabriel Agreste are speaking near the entrance

Lila: So far all is well, sir.

Gabriel: Good. I would keep myself ready.

Lila showcases an evil smile before exiting the mansion, and then starts recording for her blog outside.

Lila: What’s up fans? This is Lila, and guess what! Ladybug has agreed to reveal her identity to all. I would be reporting live today from the Eiffel Tower… Get ready for the big surprise!!

Scene: Alya’s room: Alya is in bed, watching the blog on her phone

Lila in the video: …Ladybug has agreed to reveal her identity to all. I would be reporting live today from the Eiffel Tower…

Alya: (Sits up straight and exclaims) This is impossible! I bet ladybug would never do it.

Scene: Marinette’s room

Lila in the video: …Get ready for the big surprise!!

Marinette: Yep, we are in for a surprise for sure.

Tikki: Come on Marinette, you do not believe her, do you?

Marinette: (scoffs) I do not at all.

Scene: Adrien’s room

Adrien: (Lila’s video ends) We have to be ready for the moment she strikes......

TO BE CONTINUED.........

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Thank you for reading, have a miraculous day/night!!

Bug out ^^

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This post is also available on Miraculous amino in the account of Samantha (Pearl)

#my post #ml fanfic #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #chat noir #tikki #plagg #lila rossi #gabriel agreste #my fic #miraculous fanfic

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shirtlesssammy · 5 years ago

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5x05: Fallen Idols

Hey all! Welcome to Hate Watch Week! We’ve picked the best of the worst and are recapping them all week. These are our personal choices, and I’m sure they all (*but one*) have redeeming qualities, we just see the bad more than the good. Enjoy our snark --and join in if you want :) (And if you’re still trying to guess our hiatus theme, this episode doesn’t count.)

Then:

Angst-a-thon!

Now:

We meet Jimmy and his pal, Cal, both race car enthusiasts. Well, enthusiasts for one sports car: James Dean’s Porsche 550 Spyder. While Jimmy runs to get the camera, Cal sits in the car, ready to start the “Little Bastard”. Only, the air gets frosty and the car radio flickers on. We hear a crash and Jimmy heads back to the garage to find Cal’s head smashed into the jagged edge of the convertible’s windshield.

Sam and Dean are on the case! Sam wants to know why this case is so important --what with the devil and apocalypse and all. “This is what we’re doing, okay?” Dean insists. Dean highlights that they’ve been away from each other for a while (*Ahem* maybe I don’t like this episode as much because the last two episodes were just Dean and Cas having fun times together? IDK. 5x03 and 5x04 were a wild ride that I watch over and over again.)

THE HORROR:

They arrive at the local cop shop as FBI agents Bonham and Copeland. The local sheriff shows them the video “evidence” that Cal’s good buddy Jim killed him. The brothers are less than convinced.

The sheriff applied Occam's Razor, and done and done.

The brothers want to interview Jim anyway. He tells them what he heard from the house: tires squealing, glass breaking. The car killed Cal. It’s cursed. Jim mentions that it was “Little Bastard” that did it, and Dean’s eyes light up like a little boy at Christmas. OoooohhhHHHHooo. Dean and cars and, well, don’t tell me he never had a crush on James Dean. We all have had a crush on James Dean. Sam “I can’t be any more straight” Winchester has no flippin’ clue what’s going on. Dean insists they check out the car. Bby boy.

They head to the car, and Dean takes a moment. Sam asks for some exposition. Dean explains that after James Dean died, the mechanic bought the wreckage and fixed the car.

The car fell on him, and death continues to follow the car wherever it goes (Ugh, I just went down a rabbit hole of what happened to the car and am now in a weird spiral of remembering how much I loved James Dean as a teen and how much Rebel Without A Cause meant to me. I’m not 90 years old. What a weird flex for a 1990’s kid to experience. But also not, since Dean’s right there with me, right?)

Anyway, to really confirm if the car was James Dean’s, they’ve got to match the engine number. Dean heads under the car to confirm, begging the car to not hurt him first. Dean takes his sweet ass time being nervous and writing down the engine number, but he makes it out alive. He tasks Sam with tracking down all the owners.

While Dean hangs at a bar, Sam discovers the car is a fake.

Meanwhile, a nerdy man reflects on his day at his desk when the air gets frosty and he hears a creaking behind him. He turns and utters, “Oh my god, it’s you. You’re dead. You’re supposed to be dead.” Is it a long lost wife? An old rival? Nope. It’s a growling Abraham Lincoln. He chokes the nerd man until he becomes a victim of the blood cannon. Better angels of our nature, my ass.

The agents meet the sheriff at the crime scene. They remark that there’s nothing strange about the victim dying of a gunshot wound where there’s no gun, no gunpowder, no bullet. Awkward. The brothers demand a reasonable explanation from the sheriff. He hunkers down and whispers, “Professional killer.” He’s thinking this is a Michael Clayton-type thing. And I love it because that’s the limit of his imagination. Sam and Dean know better but only because they live in the fringe of this world where monsters are real.

Sam and Dean head to interview the victim’s maid, Consuela Alvarez. She’s very distressed, and can only speak Spanish.

Sam pulls out his freshman Spanish to save the day. I only remember “Donde esta el baño?” Good job, Sam! The killer was a tall man with a long black coat and a beard. And he wore a hat. A tall hat. Dean cracks the code: A stovepipe hat like Abraham Lincoln. DEAN BEAN, so street smart he doesn’t even realize how book smart he is. Sigh. “Abraham Lincoln killed Mr. Hill,” Consuela confirms.

The brothers continue to research. Dean watches the car video frame by frame until he finds one frame of a blurred red coated figure ---and INSTANTLY guesses that it’s James Dean ---but like Jim Stark James Dean. It’s not like James Dean wore the damn red coat outside of that movie role, lol. (Sidenote: Fun fact: Fry from Futurama’s coat is modeled after that red coat.)

Sam realizes that they’re dealing with famous ghosts that are killing their fans. (Sidenote: I hope Misha Collins never dies.) The brothers wonder why these ghosts are haunting Canton, Ohio. They do more research.

The brothers head to the Canton Wax Museum. They marvel at all the random wax figurines (and Sam is taller than Lincoln? Hmmm. They’re the same height. #Borisisanerd) Dean makes fun of Gandhi and Sam defends him, but uh, nope, Sam, nope.

The museum curator shows up and the brothers introduce themselves as reporters for Travel Magazine. They’re writing an article on “how totally non-sucky wax museums are.” The curator points out that this place is unique. He points to Lincoln and tells the boys that’s actually Lincoln’s hat. Yep, he’s got real items from all the dead guys.

He’s going to make wax museums hip again. And OMG Sam’s little thumbs up in response. STOP.

Later, Sam loads up on salt rounds and walks in on Dean talking to Bobby about him. Dean gets off the phone fast and dismisses Sam’s questioning about the call. Dean’s not 100% with Sam yet. They head out to finish the case.

At the wax museum Dean starts poking around. Let the tomfoolery begin!

Sam hauls out a metal trash can which they can use to torch all the priceless, one of a kind objects. (History-fan me cringes.) While he’s doing an ultra-close-up examination of Lincoln, the doors slam shut. Suddenly, Gandhi is on him! Gandhi is strong, he’s fast, and he’s out to kill. Dean torches Gandhi's watch and Sam’s attacker winks out.

The next day, Sam mulls over the case in the motel room. Ghost Gandhi's quick disappearance has him troubled. He didn’t flame out like most ghosts, and he seemed almost zombie hungry. Sam thinks the hunger is uncharacteristic given Gandhi's tendency towards fruitarianism. (WWMGD? What would monster Gandhi do?) Dean dismisses Sam’s concerns, and Sam tells him that hunting together isn’t working. Dean doesn’t trust him. More than that, Dean’s trying to stick to their old patterns with the older brother telling the younger brother what to do.

“Before didn’t work,” Sam tells him. That old dynamic chased Sam off into Ruby’s arms. “You’re gonna have to let me grow up.”

Dean’s phone rings. It’s the local cops, calling about another terrible incident.

The Sheriff is…utterly at a loss with this next one. Dean and Sam head into the station to interview two teen girls. They tearfully recount the “horrible” “way horrible” disappearance of their friend who was kidnapped earlier by…Paris Hilton.

Dean and Sam tick the obvious boxes. Paris Hilton isn’t dead, so they’re not after a ghost. Sam suits up in scrubs to do a detailed autopsy of one of the prior corpses. He pulls out two strange seeds from one of the victim’s stomachs.

Sam fills Dean in on the excessive blood loss he discovered (something was feeding) and the seeds. The seeds are unusual, and he takes them back to the motel. There, he discovers that the seeds were indigenous to a forest in Europe, and the forest was ruled over by a god, Leshi. Leshi can take on any form and feeds on his followers. Dean hand waves the shapeshifting explanation for the audience by asking, “So how's he doing it? What, he touches James Dean's keychain and then morphs into James Dean?” Thank you, Exposition Dean!

The Winchesters arrive back at the Wax Museum, this time bearing a nice sharp axe. In a creepy closed exhibit they find the victim and…Paris Hilton. She (He?) takes out Dean and Sam quickly. When they wake a little while later, they’re tied to the fake trees in the exhibit.

Leshi sharpens a blade slowly, excited to do the sacrificial ritual correctly this time. He explains that he’s settled in this town to stuff his face full of worshippers arriving at the wax museum. With the apocalypse nigh, there’s no reason to diet!

Leshi grouses about the poor quality of worshippers these days. Dean fights whining with snark, and Leshi tells him that he worships somebody - his dad. “Poor little Dean. All you ever wanted was to be loved by your idol.” They fight and Sam breaks free and hacks off Leshi’s head.

The next day, we learn that the victim they rescued is going to recover. And even better? The bumbling Sheriff is putting out an APB on Paris Hilton.

At the car, Dean admits his own culpability in bringing about the apocalypse, when he broke the first seal. He apologizes for being preoccupied with the wrong things. Sam responds with the hero speech with which we’re so familiar. “We gotta just grab onto whatever's in front of us, kick its ass, and go down fighting.” Dean’s on board. Hell, he’s more than ready to move forward. He hands Sam the keys to Baby and they roll off to the sweet sounds of Jeff Beck's “Superstition." D’awwww.

These Quotes are Hot:

We’re not your typical cops

Death follows this car around like exhaust

Christine is fiction, this is real

I'm gonna make wax museums hip again

Four score and seven years ago, I had a funny hat

You’re not the first god we've met, but you are the nuttiest

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recp #spn rewatch #spn 5x05 #fallen idols #dean winchester #sam winchester #hate watch week #supernatural season 5

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